Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
If your religion is worth killing for, start with yourself.
In Japan, Storage Wars is called Mystery Boxes of The Sunburned Trash Clowns.
"I pretty da pool". - Mr. T, cleaning his pool
I'm just bummed that Ariel Castro was the one that got to strangle Ariel Castro.
Bin laden dead. Whitey Bulger found. West Memphis 3 free. Feels like America has been cancelled & the loose plot lines are being tied up.
Everyone working at Whole Foods looks like they were kicked out of Smashing Pumpkins.
Happy Dr. Whonukkah to all my Whoish friends.
RIP: Blockbuster. In lieu of flowers please watch a movie tonight with family that is your third or fourth choice.
Nobody made turkeys from hands like Jeffrey Dahmer.
Twitter is the flight data recorder of your descent into madness.
Jenna Jameson endorsed Mitt Romney because he's been videotaped holding every possible position too.
Biden waits calmly in a stolen Trans-Am for Obama to finish. His satin scorpion jacket glides across the leather as he checks his watch.
The worst part of sex with Tyler Perry is Madea’s fat suit watching from a rocking chair.
Even Darth Vader (replacement limbs, face-breathing thing, therapeutic cape) understood that quality healthcare is a basic human right.
Stop Kony: Not the worst campaign of 2012.
Bill Clinton: You’re all clear, kid, now let’s blow this thing and go home! #DNC2012
When I fart & my wife thinks it was the dog I feel like Jason Bourne.
I'm on Nerd Poker podcast: http://goo.gl/kDEyFn I write TV, film and @Deadpool & Nova for @Marvel & The Infinite Horizon http://amzn.to/Mks4ER @ImageComics