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  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    I wish you guys gave a fuck this much every time an 18 year old Marine comes home in a coffin.

    • 523
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerundonestarCarmel_ColemanDanKCharnleyTorriablemiss_foofoo_Friday_XIIIWathiary_
    • 370
    • RETWEETS
    Wathiary_333ang____________mistressbandaidehopasaumpflufffferAmerica4USThe_Sculptressjehujeni
    DanteEvilCatllvvzzzTequilaTearsyzuppCroweJamvaporcoffinNickadooeTHEgoddessNorthernMagic____bfriend__Matt_Tice________Hey_Tessbulls_horns______Jason_maybe
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    Me: Let's rent Pulp Fiction.
    Her: What?
    Me: Let's rent Pulp Fiction.
    Her: What?
    Me: SAY WHAT ONE MORE TIME MOTHERFUCKER I DARE YOU!!!

    • 376
    • FAVS
    jerodmcdanielLittleJimmy61DriftLightGetongaMon_x_TeyQckhdStephenBCramerCarmel_Coleman
    • 101
    • RETWEETS
    GetongaMon_x_TeyDeejayMakeshtyaz77P_DA_GHOSTwayne_robb1800RandyJustAGuy___
    23_Lies
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    2 gerbils are walking past a gay bar.

    One turns to the other and says Let's go in and get shit-faced.

    • 364
    • FAVS
    QckhdStephenBCramerCarmel_ColemanDanKCharnley1800Randytyaz77_Friday_XIIIsajjadinio93
    • 75
    • RETWEETS
    rademan666wayne_robbsajjadinio93Whirk_itWhiskeyDickensreesespiece_BanjoMarkdirty_dee
    MikeSchismkervinf__________boobill
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    I can satisfy my girlfriend with only 3 1/2 inches.


    It's called my credit card.

    • 331
    • FAVS
    Carmel_ColemanDanKCharnleyfitmom_oddA_Paddlockkwebber28Torriable_Friday_XIII1800Randy
    • 81
    • RETWEETS
    A_PaddlockTorriableCeronePopBrittMargaret26P_Johnson9iPissGlitter_xjleyendecker______WilliamFucich
    BraddecisionCpez38
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    That awkward moment when you realize you locked your keys in the car at the abortion clinic and need a coat hanger.

    • 316
    • FAVS
    Rasbanda_ManoloQckhderkskianne_seattleTamalamifynzthewordCarmel_ColemanDanKCharnley
    • 75
    • RETWEETS
    Rasbanda_ManoloQckhdCarmel_Coleman333ang____________Pure_ClintTecaterobmarksquaddyThe_Sculptress
    Carmel_ColemanKevinDeanGandernoogvxlkGirlieGirlJenny
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    I usually cry after sex but in my defense I use a pretty big onion.

    • 302
    • FAVS
    Bertmc1QckhdCarmel_ColemanDanKCharnley_Friday_XIIIigottiamantFinallyHeSleepsgrumpysalmon
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    Qckhdinotgonnacutyoulacybronze1catlikethiefx0____The_Sculptresslittlegmoon23_LiesMajorMac
    JordyHamrick______ZiggyWigged
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    Sometimes I wonder why I hate everyone. Then I realize it's because of everything.

    • 242
    • FAVS
    Carmel_Coleman_Friday_XIIIigottiamantgrumpysalmonjacksonpanic______BoleyngirlyCatnapMavenloribuckmajor
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    _RawanAbdullahLaurburCatnapMavenJeffreyOnDemand__alexxa_raeeecallmemalkincatlikethiefx0____yasiddiqi
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    The Eagles symbolizes courage.

    The Dove symbolizes love.

    The Swallow symbolizes true love.

    • 226
    • FAVS
    WineyBeach78______KaneKylaThisJeffrockShutUpThatsWhoMrTallPaul1Jeremy_Starshipclindsaysway_Friday_XIII
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    LazzLo_drow33__WineyBeach78______ZenOne____________MrTallPaul1clindsayswayigottiamantTDumm
    MoCannoli________
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    In embryos, the first thing to develop is the anus. So we basically start off as assholes.

    • 203
    • FAVS
    Qckhd_Friday_XIIIgrumpysalmonKelleyAnnONickCasaliniMartinMurtagh____23_LiesSCbchbum
    • 60
    • RETWEETS
    MartinMurtagh____JayJazzi23_Lies333ang____________msmollybee25GlauriusTacoTitsThe_Sculptress
    GirlieGirlJenny
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    I guarantee no one has ever been patient enough to find out what the shelf life of cocaine is.

    • 231
    • FAVS
    Qckhd_Friday_XIIIBellaRae_detroit_etRICKYZ21moneyfornothingsexicarmieThe_Sculptress
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    QckhdmoneyfornothingThe_SculptressKianaVanDusen____bthemdlaurensamsmithsususudafedcamel4484
    TequilaTears
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    I don't understand why you people call them "haters". When I was younger we just called them "assholes".

    • 155
    • FAVS
    _Friday_XIIIgrumpysalmonBellaRae_sass_slingerStorminikaChris__Marie______Yorkshow13________ExploringUrMind
    • 93
    • RETWEETS
    yasiddiqiimlorenzapetetweet2shrexxNeffexx2MandaDeenThe_SculptressCantankerous_ER_lene21
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    "Fuck it."



    - What I say to myself before I hit send on all my tweets.

    • 181
    • FAVS
    _Friday_XIIIBellaRae_A_Bit_Too_Rude____AlexMonty09neon_fairy_thatUPSdudeDan93James________uncletoehands____
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    neon_fairy_uncletoehands____bud_meeksThe_SculptresslaurensamsmithDJ_PissYoPantscamel4484MoCannoli________
    lorlorlori________
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    The batteries in our smoke detector went out. Now I'm not sure when dinner is done.

    • 191
    • FAVS
    ZeldaJrKaneKylaHotGma52iGreenMonkPaxochkaclindsayswayDerick549________Marty3point0______
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    gymosbornezolygon_dot_comclindsaysway_SammabammAndrewR31ScentUghMentalkittenishcutieredkedabo________
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    Let's be honest.

    There is Twitter.

    Then there is our Twitter.

    • 197
    • FAVS
    sajjadinio93ameo02NickCasaliniLicoriceNipples______jehujeniredkedabo________DrThanatosBellaRae_
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    sajjadinio93lorzav3__________redkedabo________The_SculptressvxlkTortilla_NaziPieces_FitSpideroger
    1800Randy
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    You know what is elite? Funny fucking tweets are elite and I would like to see more of those.

    • 190
    • FAVS
    NickCasalinidavid_dj1269mandydevilleImaFlyontheWallDrThanatoskittenishcutieBellaRae_The_Sculptress
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    The_SculptressDanteEvilCat23_LiesMoCannoli________Cali420nia_Luke__laurensamsmithletzakisH1Maintenance
    iNusku____________SeanBlazedTequilaTears
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    A Mexican walks into a bar and orders a corona with lime.

    I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a whore.

    • 175
    • FAVS
    GetbentLASCbchbumlcraffMikaelaFyfeallspicebabyjonesy1825CourtneyFarrierPure_Clint
    • 32
    • RETWEETS
    Pure_Clintshoe_laiceTheUnadornedThe_SculptressDanteEvilCatstartyourcartersususudafedRHicksjr777
    bulls_horns______
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    If I could have back all the money I have spent on drugs and alcohol I would have a lot of drugs and alcohol right now.

    • 170
    • FAVS
    QckhdSCbchbumCourtneyFarrierCuddleboobies____Ocean_Paralysis__mtnchickk______TacoTitswilly2122
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    QckhdOcean_Paralysis__mtnchickk______TacoTitsThe_SculptressMariLovesGCKristen_Leighhhdylon_taylor
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    Barbie and Ken must be married because Barbie's knees don't bent.

    • 163
    • FAVS
    BellaRae_Cuddleboobies____sass_slingerPhonesexBritgsu9696mrobliviousExploringUrMindThe_Sculptress
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    gsu9696The_SculptressKevinDeanGanderthehotlikechicaCluDiazZfavstar1000favsJoeyV3Wussawilla________
    webiegal__________
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    Hey Congress; Before you halt the Military pay why don't you think about what you trained us to do.


    Sincerely,

    The Marines

    • 109
    • FAVS
    The_SculptressBellaRae_KatarinaKrizFunnyNotFoundCantankerous_EPrettiestPickleVodka_A_Jones____DanteEvilCat
    • 61
    • RETWEETS
    Hooley817favstar1000favsNoxyRavenBrownManLiteChappnation__langstonbruisesmknbnanaplzcmorris1210
    PlumpFikshun
  • GetbentLA
      GetbentLA @GetbentLA

    When I started dating my girlfriend I would get aroused when she would eat a banana.

    9 years later I get aroused when she chokes on it.

    • 144
    • FAVS
    FinallyHeSleepsBellaRae_The_SculptressFunnyNotFoundCantankerous_EPrettiestPickleDanteEvilCatVodka_A_Jones____
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    KevinDeanGanderNaughtYvanGiragosian________M1chelle_tadmrichards__Th3_SauceRichardZimmerArbo4242__
@GetbentLA

@GetbentLA

NSFW