Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Do people really get jealous of other people talking to their twitter crush?
That's kind of like being jealous of someone's Monopoly money
The first rule of Twitter is, save your funniest jokes for when the Americans are drunk- because the English & the Aussies are always drunk.
No amount of hotness can compensate for stupid.
Twitter - where winning means you're probably a loser.
If I were Jesus, I wouldn't have turned water into wine.
I'd have turned flour into Cocaine and made a fucking killing.
When I'm feeling inadequate, I remember that there are women who marry their prison pen pals, and then my own decisions don't seem so bad.
Flavor Flav must feel really awkward when he is late for something.
But I'm not going to collaborate or listen.
False hope is a thousand times crueler than honesty.
It's ironic that most anti-depressants make you fat.
It’s only indecent exposure if you’re ugly.
Anything you say can and will be used against you by a woman.
A star is like saying, "Hey, I listened to your thought."
And that's the only real prize here.
Tell me how depressed you are on a scale of one to ten days in sweatpants.
Would you like your disappointment on the rocks?
I like cupcakes and people minding their own fucking business.
How do you bring the lactose intolerant boys to the yard!?!?
Let’s get married. Well not married, but let’s share our stuff. Well not share, but give me half of your stuff.
To be fair, if I had a friend who could turn water into wine - I’d worship him too.
"I'm never gonna read your tweets, follow or RT you. But I'm gonna bitch about how I don't get enough attention on Twitter."
Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts. - Albert Einstein Inspirational bio? Oh yes I did.