Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
As seen on TV? Listen, if you’re trying to impress me maybe come up with a selling point that couldn’t also describe Jim Belushi.
At what age are you supposed to start muttering swear words to yourself in public? Because I do that.
No Dick pics please. PLEASE!!!!
Kate Upton has the Simpsons season six of boobs.
Nut allergy? Yeah, I’m allergic to you nuts here on Twiter! Too many shenanigans & hip hop jokesters!
Whenever I see a car with Florida plates I wonder how many bodies are in the trunk.
Don't make that last tweet weird
You should be able to go at least twenty over the speed limit if you’re listening to minor threat.
I have the sneaking suspicion not too many patrons of this Popeyes Chicken are prepared to discuss Sunday's Mad Men episode with me.
Nice how I can still have a sex dream about my wife. Last night the role of my wife was played by the Asian girl I always see at Starbucks.
Said "Happy Mother's Day" to someone else's mom just to be polite. It was awful.
I've never posted a bad review on Yelp 'CAUSE I AIN'T NO SNITCH!
boy if i had a nickel for every family reunion gangbang i participated in, i'd have like 5 bucks
Siri Is there a porn star named Johnny Depth
Future best friend of someone. Currently professional third wheel / cyber bully