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  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    Saw a homeless guy this mornin' he said, "Any change?" Me, "Nope, you're still cold and homeless." We laughed & laughed & he stabbed me.

    • 2,011
    • FAVS
    hocuspocus311Addzy18Thrill_TweeterashtonklindtTwisted_MettleTopcat_007lisaxy424meganj520
    • 1,510
    • RETWEETS
    shikhar2206hocuspocus311RealShaughnShayne14050mitchoffAldeebobTwisted_MettleBoltFlying
    LeahKnauerli4mst3w4rtmrjohntofuchrisgaynernerdculachopper4jkWorldofSmithy____urbustaOncefallen________UglyPrick________
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    New condom slogan...

    Wrap it in latex or she's gonna get your paychecks.

    :)

    • 1,093
    • FAVS
    Mrs_MmmmTwisted_MettleTopcat_007kv8Ramia_ThomasBenjaw1nrideonUSAcowgirl_stacey
    • 653
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnJHottie_Twisted_MettleBenjaw1ncowgirl_staceyfffattouchkuzco890fazzayl
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    I could tell by the look on the lady's face in the stall next to me.. that it wasn't the right time to play Peek-a-Boo.

    • 789
    • FAVS
    Thrill_TweeterTwisted_MettleTopcat_007Just_Oh_SusannaSortaSarcasticcrazeedayGooberforcekeithdevlin
    • 388
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnShayne1405Twisted_MettleTopcat_007Just_Oh_SusannaSortaSarcasticcrazeedayOohBehaveBaby
    One_FineMessjumpdasharkLIWIKZstuckwithgreenLaffingGUY
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    "You're ugly and you're a cunt."

    I think that's the last time my coworker asks me how she looks.

    • 697
    • FAVS
    Topcat_007Benjaw1nrideonUSAndiquotesandrablue925cowgirl_staceyfazzaylBackwardsZero
    • 265
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnBenjaw1ncowgirl_staceyfazzaylnospeakyou__LjayHAMfillthevacuumenvydatropic
    DanteEvilCat
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    I hate to sound racist but.. all of your baby ultrasounds look the same.

    • 579
    • FAVS
    Twisted_MettleSortaSarcasticlisaxy424ndiquotefazzaylsilent_musingsdeedragonhunterfillthevacuum
    • 302
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnTwisted_MettlezaekaluyaTentaiApostlefazzaylnospeakyou__fillthevacuumShroneaB
    Miciurathedeetwenty
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    Dear Tampax,
    Please stop makin' the strings on your tampons so long. It's my fuckin' period.. not a visit from Tarzan!
    :)

    • 570
    • FAVS
    Twisted_MettleSortaSarcasticrideonUSAdjr_102ndiquotefazzaylBackwardsZerodeedragonhunter
    • 208
    • RETWEETS
    deedragonhunternospeakyou__fillthevacuumenvydatropicEmax31ToxicProbablyShaunRightNowddsmidt
    _SirPrincess
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    No girl is ever out of your league.. you just have to learn how to play the game, silly.

    • 491
    • FAVS
    Twisted_MettleBenjaw1nrideonUSAndiquotesandrablue925VOL1212fazzayldeedragonhunter
    • 257
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnBenjaw1nMrsKushFlowersfaith_bloatfazzaylmazel_shlimazeldeedragonhunterDomeniqueExley
    VirgoSherry10InchesPlus
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    It's called dignity, sweetie.. and you're not gonna find it on your knees in the men's room.

    • 504
    • FAVS
    Twisted_MettleBenjaw1nrideonUSAndiquotechundingthtawkwrdmmentAltheianicafazzayl
    • 231
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnBenjaw1nfazzayldeedragonhunternospeakyou__fillthevacuumenvydatropicEmax31
    UrinElCakeswrdsmythe________
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    Jessica Simpson said today her boobs are too big for running.. maybe she should try using her fuckin' feet, stupid bitch.

    • 480
    • FAVS
    deathtoscumbags0mitchoffTwisted_Mettlelisaxy424BrokeBaldrideonUSANotoriousBeepdjr_102
    • 228
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnTwisted_MettleDuaneABarrettjmartya88djr_102JKNenaghBackwardsZerodeedragonhunter
    VFlorrr
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    I don't normally drink alcohol, but when I do.. it's weed. :)

    • 505
    • FAVS
    Twisted_MettleBenjaw1nrideonUSAndiquotedeedragonhunterHelmdawgEfringefairy83LacrymosaGirl
    • 199
    • RETWEETS
    Benjaw1nrideonUSAdeedragonhunterBong_Mongerjeanabean16fringefairy83envydatropicWolfGirl_84
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    If I die at Walmart.. please drag my body to Target before calling 911.

    Thank you.

    • 433
    • FAVS
    bongripsandtitsTwisted_Mettlelisaxy424ZombieGirlFunValeeGrrlIAmSaidWhiskeypete46and2seattlegup
    • 227
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnValeeGrrlslummyUSmummyseattleguprdmilbournThundertextjtheriot2ThePaaawnShop
    Juicedballs
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    I've done so many kegels in my 42 years that.. I can now shift my car with my vagina.

    Hello, fellas! :)

    • 492
    • FAVS
    Twisted_Mettlelisaxy424rideonUSAndiquotedjr_102BackwardsZerodeedragonhunterenvydatropic
    • 159
    • RETWEETS
    CityNutsackEmax31cal_francisHypercraxyArmymatt22One_FineMess96bhhli4mst3w4rt
    hogrider05SirTwatWaffle
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    Sometimes you just have to say.. fuck it, or fuck me, or fuck you, or fuck off.



    Whatever the fuck works for ya, really.

    • 361
    • FAVS
    Twisted_Mettlelisaxy424Benjaw1nrideonUSAdeedragonhunterToxicProbablyIlovelamp1979TwistedCrazzy
    • 228
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnBenjaw1nmazel_shlimazeldeedragonhunterPinsandiamondsRooster4806ShaunRightNowSirNickUFC
    TampaBayMomma
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    Just found a bag of weed in the elevator.


    Looks like someone's gonna have a bad day. And guess what? It ain't fuckin' me! Giggity!

    • 406
    • FAVS
    Twisted_MettleBenjaw1nrideonUSAdjr_102ndiquoteDrWhoFienddeedragonhunterquietlybiased
    • 129
    • RETWEETS
    Benjaw1ndeedragonhunter96bhhli4mst3w4rtGoodgirlBaddest__professor_eksmrjohntofuawesomeJCwood
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    Guys, if there's ever a doubt just look at her feet. If they're gnarly and look like eagle talons.. chances are, her pussy's not so fresh.

    • 360
    • FAVS
    Twisted_MettleBenjaw1nrideonUSAdjr_102deedragonhunterDaleV59edbritonajgmetal
    • 127
    • RETWEETS
    Benjaw1nquietlybiasedArmymatt22MamaHuntsBestOne_FineMess96bhhli4mst3w4rtfusedude
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    I like my men like I like my milkshakes...



    thick and down my throat. :)

    • 366
    • FAVS
    Twisted_MettleBenjaw1nrideonUSAndiquotedeedragonhunterquietlybiasedToxicProbablyIlovelamp1979
    • 113
    • RETWEETS
    Benjaw1nShaunRightNow96bhhli4mst3w4rtJenn_RN23rustygunterXOperfectmessXOMissvalCa
    TheCamelToe___
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    Honestly.. who doesn't like their asshole licked?


    Seriously.. they never even mentioned it in sex ed, so it makes it ok to like it.

    • 301
    • FAVS
    bongripsandtitsTwisted_MettleBenjaw1nndiquotedjr_102deedragonhunterquietlybiasedToxicProbably
    • 87
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnBenjaw1n96bhhli4mst3w4rt1_swarthy_dudeMikiepooXOperfectmessXOMissvalCa
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    Ok YouPorn, I'm flippin' a coin.. heads it's dicks, tails it's chicks.

    • 276
    • FAVS
    Twisted_Mettlelisaxy424rideonUSAdjr_102ndiquoteToxicProbablyIlovelamp1979HaciendaSquish__
    • 73
    • RETWEETS
    ShaunRightNow96bhhli4mst3w4rtrustygunterXOperfectmessXOsquirrel74wkgnMissvalCaBigRim79__
    DarthDuff
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    My son forgot to hide his stash and his bong. Silly boy.. you know mama's gonna road test that shit. :)

    • 279
    • FAVS
    Twisted_MettlerideonUSAndiquotedjr_102ToxicProbablyShaunRightNowVicFuture__Spaced_Cowboy00
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    VicFuture__96bhhblondebombsli4mst3w4rtanarchicwolffusedudeDr_powpowrustygunter
  • Giddythefuckup
      T @Giddythefuckup

    Although it's been said many times, many ways.. fuck you never gets old. ;)

    • 252
    • FAVS
    Twisted_MettlezombieparrotrideonUSAdjr_102all_about_todaySpankedAngelToxicProbablyShaunRightNow
    • 76
    • RETWEETS
    zombieparrotall_about_today1evilidiot96bhhispikanImTheTinManblondebombsli4mst3w4rt
@Giddythefuckup

@Giddythefuckup
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Take another lick, bitch.. this is what awesome tastes like.

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