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I don't care what people say about Rachel McAdams she looks like someone that can be my best friend as well as someone whose boobs I'd lick.
who the fuck is watching this shit
all these movie previews are like "in a world of men one man must fight the men to save all men forever"
Your horoscope says you're gonna be a cunt for the rest of your life
Today on Twitter I've been called a house nigga by a black guy and a racist by a white guy...damn I'm so multi talented.
A DAD JACKET!!
You're Instagram account made me so hungry.
if he's wearing a turtleneck and a blazer I'll die
do you think neil is gonna wear a fancy tie y/n
excuse me listen fifteen minutes until cosmos
my name is Mary but all my OkCupid dates call me NEVER AGAIN
On a scale of 1 to Robin Williams, how badly do you need to shave your pussy?
i'm like a sheep dressed in wolves clothing: my thighs barely fit in these stupid things
If you hold your phone up to your ear when you're scrolling my tweets you can hear the
*Fuck it. Send*
I'm guano go bat shit crazy if one more bird shits on my car!
I wasn't being facetious; I'm just an asshole
"He died doing what he loved...your mom."
-Tombstone on thousands of graves
Rich white guys have the hot Asian girl game on lock.
Potato used to be spelled with an N in it. IG, KIK, Snap: GinRumMe