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I'm happy to announce that my pussy not longer hates me. I'm talking about the 4 legged pussy not the bald damp one SHE will always hate me
I am now in touch with my spirit and my creator. Also my feet are asleep and there is no toilet paper in here.
If you don't do a strip tease to Conway Twitty than your definitely not me
That which ails me is within.
My real demons are fear and lust combined with pride and jealousy.
The weird gifted cousin put her 8 yr old son in clown school. Who can say VIRGIN TILL AGE 30
My drink of choice today will be whatever gets me drunk the fastest.
I think hobbits built my house. Who puts a 5ft long claw foot tub in these days? Either my tits are warm OR my legs are
Maybe some brains just have more creativity than 1 personality can manage.
My phone just changed "bar" to "bae" and now I really need a fucking drink.
My favorite part of the day is when I get to go to bed.
Commercial for love:
[shows me getting hit by a truck]
In hindsight using a Shania Twain CD for love making wasn't my best decision... Especially when "That Don't Impress Me Much" came on.
I rode a horse once and broke it. Potato used to have an N in its spelling. IG, KIK, Snap: GinRumMe