Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Safe words are for pussies! Fuck me till I tap out!
Ironically its exactly 12 steps from my car to the liquor store
You call it stalking I call it getting to know you whether you like it or not
Who needs a thesaurus when you can replace everything with FUCK
This tag on my panties has been tickling my ass all morning, I was gonna cut it off but I'm lonely
I told my parents I joined a cult. It's just easier than explaining twitter!
If you don't put Bugles on your finger tips and chase people around like a velociraptor I don't even want to know you!
If you're not choking on it you're doing it wrong.
Whatever doesn't kill you just makes your drinks stronger
I've done a lot of shit I'm not proud of, but that doesn't stop me from telling the stories with extreme enthusiasm.
I don't hate based on color sexual preference or religion its more like the way you chew your food you fucking horse face!
So Alcoholics Anonymous isn't when you rotate which days and liquor stores you go to so no one finds out what a drunk you are?
I don't judge people by the shit they tweet some of the sickest fuckers on here are the sweetest and some of the sweetest are sick fucks
It's not just a cameltoe it also doubles as a drug mule
I didn't play the Lottery I wasted my money on drugs and alcohol yesterday so technically I did win
"Nice tweets add me on facebook" is like saying nice tits here put this pancho on
Life's a whore so get drunk and fuck it
Kid made me slam on my brakes today so I did what any rational person would do and followed him for 17mi screaming pull over so I can stab u
I'm NOT stalking you! I just took a wrong turn 1400 miles ago! Omg HI!
Lets talk about Star Wars and XBox until my vagina is as dry as a camels asshole