@GoNowGo's most faved Tweets...
It saddens me to think there are people in the world who don't pretend to paddle a canoe while on the moving walkways in airports.
And it's shaping up to be another Mark All As Read, with a slight chance of Delete All, kind of day.
It's a real shame when Underwear Drawer approaches zero, just as the Desire Not To Do Laundry reaches infinity.
Oh good, your website has music. So anyone within earshot will know I'm checking out Mexican food menus circa 10 a.m. AS USUALMENTE.
Guys! I just made a salad so good, I don't even want this burrito anym THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SUSPENDED DUE TO SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY
"Hello?"
"Wait, which one did I call?"
"Mom! There are only two of us! This is the good one."
"Oh HI [sister's name]!"
Every. Time.
"Wait, which one did I call?"
"Mom! There are only two of us! This is the good one."
"Oh HI [sister's name]!"
Every. Time.
Um. There's a dancing pancake on the label. A pancake. That is DANCING.
I think it's pretty darn obvious how I picked this bottle of wine.
I think it's pretty darn obvious how I picked this bottle of wine.
You know you're beyond elderly when you find yourself looking around the crowded club, thinking about how'd you get out in an emergency.
It takes a special person to pedal miles to the grocery store, sans wallet.
So special, in fact, that I may wear this helmet full-time.
So special, in fact, that I may wear this helmet full-time.
Doesn't the guy going 45 on the highway know he could get us all killed, what with making me take my eyes off the road to type this?
Actually, what my tardiness is trying to say is, "Yes, I was totally going to skip this meeting until your email reminder mentioned snacks."
Must I explain everything to you? I paired a robust Cabernet with the chocolate animal crackers because I am an adult. GOD.
Second Christmas party of the day and it is CATERED BURRITOS. I can hardly type this I AM SO EXCITED, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS OR WHATEVER!
[This is the update you send when you're first at the bar but trying to look slightly less awkward and it's not working is it I felt it too]
I love imagining the stories behind a single discarded shoe on the sidewalk. The first chapter is always about vodka.
If it weren't for calendar pop-up reminders I swear I'd forget my own where are we going is it burrito time yet I like your hat.
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