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No Horton, there is no Who. You have schizophrenia. You're not even an elephant. #SadDrSeuss
Alright morons, "they" are not coming to "take away your guns." Though anyone who thinks that probably should have their guns taken away.
Girl on Facebook who's been counting down to her wedding EVERY DAY for a year will shut up about it after tomorrow. When I kill her.
When I was in high school my dad said it was ok with him that I was a lesbian. I wasn't but it was still nice to know. (True story, BTW)
It just occurred to me that Tums might be called that because they fix your tummy. I'm 32.
Someone just called me out for being jealous of Oscar nominees. Bitch I'm jealous of people who have health insurance.
I'd love to see an episode of Game of Thrones where female extras who are always playing naked sex slave types kill everyone on set and WIN
If you're wondering why your skin looks so great it's because I currently have ALL OF THE PIMPLES.
If your values include de-valuing groups of people you might not understand what values are.
I was super cute when I was 8 and I'm cuting it up again. I had over 20 awkward years. Unfortunately that's when my personality developed.
Idea for a Onesie: "My parents have nuanced reasons for their political beliefs. I, however, am a baby"
"Look, wands have been used to kill people, does that mean we should ban wands?" - Idiotic Harry Potter fan, trying to make a point
I bring babies into the world, motherfuckers! (doula/comic/hooligan) My opinions are probably somebody cooler's.
