Sometimes you just need to grab life hard and fuck it...



By life I mean someone who is sexy as fuck!

In a 1000 years they will find millions of ritual sex objects shaped like dicks rabbits flowers and fists.... They will be confused..

Never ever leave a woman's bed until she's more satisfied than you!!

hucKed oN FOniKes wurked 4 mE,

Having a shitty day... Things would be so much deferent if we could all carry swords... And capes... And a stiff Drink...

My brother always told me yellow snow tasted like lemon... I tried and I disagree it tastes like Budweiser...

If all you need to do to make her moan and go weak in the knee is send her a one word text...

you did a vary good job!

@cool_jesse I will be the one crouching in the corner hitting the refresh button

Why is it Brazilians always have the best haircuts?

“@cliffalus: jizz fart” shhhhh!!!! It's quiet time now....

@sheila_mac420 you are by far the most amazingly positive person in my twitter feed! Thank You!!

#ff @cherishmuse @canadianmaplet @amiewee @_vaginasaurus @ashleystrauss @lindsaydianne @superrabiesgirl @nativerogue

All vary cool!

Commies seem to fucking love me!!

@garretheferret It rubs the lotion on its skin....

Let's all go streaking!!!!

@martina459 @keithlev @ocmeister @iseeblighty @brentweets @juanfuctastico @exclusive001 @niceguy2bwth @life_sucker @tom_b10 Thanks you!!!

“@prncessbubblgum: I swear to fucking god I'll have your blood under my glittery ass fingernails” mmm to much Cockney Thug???

“@prettiestpickle: Baby Chuck Noris? pic.twitter.com/VjkG0Swu” Like a boss!! Once again nice cock!!

@martina459 @anjalindtner Thank you!

If your smartphone is killing your sex life... Your doing it wrong!!!! :-)