@Goose's (Don Carman) recently faved Tweets...
At a surprise party where I don't know anyone. The real surprise will be if I don't make an ass of myself.
1
OH at Ritz headquarters: "Crackers aren't salty enough."
"Pretzels aren't crackery enough."
"what should we do...?"
"Pretzels aren't crackery enough."
"what should we do...?"
1
Boy that David Caruso has star quality. I bet it's only a matter of time before he's off to make movies!
6
my mom's recipe for irish potatoes is untraditional. She just pours Bailey's all over potatoes and then throws them at me.
Ah, traditions.
Ah, traditions.
2
Cooking corned beef on the stove today. Why today? Because everyone knows, I'm terrible at reading calendars.
3
trying to determine if the guys in this coffeeshop are serial killers or pedophiles.
Of course guessing "both" probably isn't that crazy.
Of course guessing "both" probably isn't that crazy.
2
Thanks to all for my birthday wishes. And people say you all are cynics. Not me, of course. People. People not on Twitter. Wackos.
1
Odd...When my wife gets toothpaste on her shirt, she changes. When I do...well let's just say there's a lot of toothpaste on my shirt.
6
Living room floor is covered with dolls.
6 year old Ted Bundy would be feeling very good in his bathing suit area if he could see it.
6 year old Ted Bundy would be feeling very good in his bathing suit area if he could see it.
5
"Whatcha talkin 'bout Willis?"
"I'm talking about drug dealing, child abuse and broken dreams."
Wait a minute, that's not funny.
"I'm talking about drug dealing, child abuse and broken dreams."
Wait a minute, that's not funny.
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