Popular Recent Faved By Given
Friends: 237
Followers: 152
Favs Given: 8,138
Favs Rec'd: 1,371
@GotBacchus' (GotBacchus?) most faved Tweets...
GotBacchus
Why don't more Mexican standoffs end with a fart breaking the tension and everyone laughing?
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
My people use ALL of the whiskey. No ice. My people are a neat people.
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
First u get stars, then followers, then lists, and THEN hot sex, right? Why are u shaking your head. It's lists before followers, isn't it?
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
Put my boat on a sandbank; that's how i shoal.
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
On which axis do you fold the space-time continuum to make an impossible deadline possible? Please tell me it's "alcohol".
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
Coworker said internet's killing literacy. Showed him Favstar. Agreed the writing's great but now he won't stop crying "I can't unread that"
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
Tried to see you tonight. "I know." You installed lights outside your bedroom window. "I did." I made shadow puppets. "With your cock."
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
Gmail doesn't recognize "zombiepocalypse" as a word. THIS MEANS MY EMAIL HASN'T BEEN SECURED AGAINST THE INEVITABLE ZOMBIEPOCALYPSE.
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
Something about this midwife has always bothered me. Is it the lack of gloves? That he calls it 'fingerbanging?' "May we see your license?"
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
IT'S JUST FUCKING, PEOPLE. IT'S JUST PEOPLE FUCKING. FUCKING PEOPLE.

Well, except for the getaway car and the golf club. That was cool.
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
Imagine there's no bacon.
I wonder if you can.
No ham before us.
Nothing in the pan.
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
It's low-sodium V8.

No, YOU suck at Halloween.
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
He's still here!? Has no one exorcized Perez Hilton? What about just using a strong stain remover? I'll bet that would do it.
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
Bus poles can't be that dirty. I mean, they don't taste that much different than cutlery and you wouldn't cringe about woah a bit dizzy here
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
Tried to see you tonight. "I know." I left a bag for you. "Maxi-pads." It's your time. They're your brand. And flow. "Stay out of my trash."
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
Cold. Wet. Slippery. Ugly. Miserable. You'd think we were talking about your mom not the weather.
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
If Facebook didn't exist it would have to be invented to protect the work we do here on Twitter and Favstar.
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
i have seen the future of cosmetic body modification: WHISKY NIPPLES
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
Bad gerbil. Spit it out! BAD GERBIL.

Aww I can't stay mad at you. Let's hug it out. And by "hug it out" I mean get back in there.
@GotBacchus
GotBacchus
Is that man screaming that he's going to 'cut a bitch'?

Well that's just wrong. Do you think he'll at least serve it with gravy?
@GotBacchus
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