Excuse me, but I do not like being called a "flasher." The correct term is "pantsless American."

You're talking to yourself... In your own tweet... That's some level of crazy you got going on... Followed.

Dear @jpcycles A 1986 FXRS is NOT a DYNA! Please inform your nerds in tech support ! Thanks for Nuthin'

feel like I'm being challenged to mix alcohol with my medication when you let me purchase them at the same counter

We're ALL crazy and talking to ourselves. That's what Twitter is.

While Twitter was down, I went outside and shared my random thoughts with strangers. They didn't seem to care what I think either.

I'm out of booze, but I have running water. This is why Aliens ignore the shit out of us.

You call it “emotionally fucked up” Indians call it “emotional atyachar”.

Advice about love?
Took me 40 years to find the right one.
The ONLY thing I know?
ALWAYS trust yourself.
You REALLY do know what is best Xxx

If you take every single one of my tweets too seriously, please do yourself a favor and go get high.

No matter how much money you have, you can never buy more time

Real life people just don't seem to understand the bonds we have around here. Don't try to explain it to them just smile and nod your head.

I drink my boxed wine from Crystal Wine Glasses...I have some class. Suck it!

I'm not here to judge you. Which is lucky, because most the things you do are just awful.

Who knew we could turn bullshitting into such an art form?

#Aquarius hates any kind of authority.

I hate when people call you out for being quiet. It's like, why don't you just shut the fuck up, I'm tweeting.

I don't trust people who don't like beer.

We have the same sex face. http://t.co/iKzSg6NM

I think Facebook’s a girl thing.