I was masturbating and then started to feel nauseous. Maybe that's why nobody will touch me

Roses and red, violets are blue.
Get in my bed.
I'm going to fuck you.

Get out of my dreams.
Get into my pants.

Don't send me a winky face text unless you plan on fucking me

Can it be "lay on the couch and do nothing but bitch" Thursday ?

I seriously suck at masturbating. I need lessons.

At the Chinese new year festival they're selling Pokemon cards. Big packs. A dollar each. Ive hit the jackpot

You say you're nice when I get to know you?
Yeah well so is my axe.

One does not simply enjoy sucking the cock. One learns to enjoy sucking the cock.

Are there jackets for the "desperate bitches who don't get laid anymore" club?

I made up a poem. Roses are red, violets are blue...

Just fuck me already you fucking cunt

My boyfriend does this thing where he doesn't know he's my boyfriend. It's so cute!

What's the point of shaving if you're not getting laid

Who wants to see my Pokemon tramp stamp?

I highly enjoy sex in an armchair

So what if I just played along if someone was trying to rape me?

Plans A through D haven't worked in mission get laid. Plan E is in motion.

I'm lonely. And when I'm lonely. I take pictures of my tits

Oh for the love of penis

I'm precious
You're precious
Let's fuck http://t.co/VASxMq5D