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I was masturbating and then started to feel nauseous. Maybe that's why nobody will touch me
Roses and red, violets are blue.
Get in my bed.
I'm going to fuck you.
Get out of my dreams.
Get into my pants.
Don't send me a winky face text unless you plan on fucking me
Can it be "lay on the couch and do nothing but bitch" Thursday ?
I seriously suck at masturbating. I need lessons.
At the Chinese new year festival they're selling Pokemon cards. Big packs. A dollar each. Ive hit the jackpot
You say you're nice when I get to know you?
Yeah well so is my axe.
One does not simply enjoy sucking the cock. One learns to enjoy sucking the cock.
Are there jackets for the "desperate bitches who don't get laid anymore" club?
I made up a poem. Roses are red, violets are blue...
Just fuck me already you fucking cunt
My boyfriend does this thing where he doesn't know he's my boyfriend. It's so cute!
What's the point of shaving if you're not getting laid
Who wants to see my Pokemon tramp stamp?
I highly enjoy sex in an armchair
So what if I just played along if someone was trying to rape me?
Plans A through D haven't worked in mission get laid. Plan E is in motion.
I'm lonely. And when I'm lonely. I take pictures of my tits
Oh for the love of penis
I like to eat limes, play pokemon, swoon over hair metal, and think im better than you.