@greeblemonkey Hey so this one guy from my work is wondering if your son could maybe ask some questions for me... I mean HIM.

@greeblemonkey they asked Ps 5th grade teacher what a "blue waffle" was today. (Ps now in 7th we're still friends)

@greeblemonkey @inthewhale @bugfrog You know I meant our child-like sense of wonder. Or no concept of money. That kind of stuff :p

@greeblemonkey @bugfrog Uhh, TRUNK. Really, autocorrect? You couldn't have caught that shit?

@greeblemonkey @bugfrog I don't think women have junk. Except in the trunknn

@greeblemonkey @bugfrog @shnerfle No because our bodies are temples. Nothing junky!

@greeblemonkey @bugfrog An excellent question. I have oft wondered that, myself.

It's so humid in the south, let me slip into something a little more comfortable.
*Puts on a Union Army suit*

Plant kindness: Harvest collaboration.

It's like Christmas in May! #DiscoveringAllMyDaughter'sBirthdayGiftsIForgotAbout

@greeblemonkey This work at hone mom seconds your opinion.

@greeblemonkey - 'Lean In' should be retitled 'Bend Over.' #Marissa Meyer

I like when people say to pray for them because they never specify what to pray, so I usually pray they turn into giant taco-making ducks.

I talked about hipsters not being hipsters before talking about hipsters not being hipsters was cool.

I'm pushing my brain today.

I am now a mom of an 8 year old! How did that happen?

Want To Be Able to Do This Weird Trick Discovered By a Young Man From Nantucket?

Spoiler alert: if my experience is any indication, the vast majority of assholes on here are super nice in real life.

"I'll buy an "e" for 200$"

-Tumblr

Some days I still miss Circuit City, but then other days I do OK.