lol twitter why would i want to 'invite friends' to twitter? this is where i come to hide & talk about them

"smoking buds in my underwear" - what I want to post on facebook

Lunch time needs more naked.

Normal is boring

"Let me drink about it"

I have to pee...but you know, twitter.

MOMS YELLING. MUST BE CHRISTMAS

Ugh I'm so jealous of the little kids In back seats of expensive suv's just chilling watching head rest movies

Every time I pack my lunch I want to eat it at like 9am.

I'm not even kidding. I ran inside replaced top & answered the door& asked if saw me on the deck

i wish i didn't have to remind myself to be nice.

My tweets seem to be getting lost in the abyss

I don't understand where all of my hair tie thingys go? Ladies?

Men-Don't forget to remind your women that march 15 is Steak & BJ day in retaliation for needy valentines.

Yea can you not touch my shoulder ever again, thanks

Thank god twitter doesn't have fonts

sometimes you just have to pretend you went out of town

Deleting someone from your contacts is pretty serious these days.

Membership is not required for alcohol purchase @costco in the following states: AZ,CA,CT,DE,HI,IN,MA,MI,MN, NY, TX & VT . You're welcome

Really having a hard time focusing on life