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  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    I love it when men take their profile pic in the mirror and you can see the scared girl tied up in the corner of the bathroom.

    • 149
    • FAVS
    FredPollackrachiecandiceNinjaTonia________DoubleDigit13ADIOS_goodbye____Tinkerbell_nerdamageVoiceOfReason25
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    GirltoMomSupportPets_GhardharBulldog0613maddievansciverburgerorthedog____What_eyeThink____GuyAdvisor
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    R.I.P. Common sense.

    You served a generation well but alas, you are no longer with us. You will always be in our memories.

    • 98
    • FAVS
    FredPollackkayfrotoastedsmooresrachiecandiceMentallyMindedRaging_ZombieADIOS_goodbye____PYWL
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    MentallyMindedSupportPets_PsychNP72SantasafraudNdiscretion______Pauloniuskalinadgaf__Cairdeas77________
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    Every so often, I try to masturbate a large word into conversations, even if I'm not really sure what it means.

    • 85
    • FAVS
    FredPollackPYWLkirblyVoiceOfReason25Theodoh__________l1zerdchristinawilderSpartacunt
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    THAT_MrDevillepiplipsFavstar500Favsradfricker________loolalauren______fartlambrusco____omfgcoffeebdbdleeroybrown
    PointBroke________
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

    • 71
    • FAVS
    PYWLcaptainashamedDumbassadorTheodoh__________l1zerdchristinawilderTHAT_MrDevillenotfaizzy
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    THAT_MrDevilleladyjazsjunkFavstar500FavsGwiniferNdiscretion______DiscoLemonKayyKatiecunninghamAspersioncast
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

    • 58
    • FAVS
    MyLongBallsTHAT_MrDevillenotfaizzythatstingspiplipsUnFitzTheDailySchmuckKatarinaKriz
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsThe_RedSheepdogSpiderogerdjmillhouseCookieLaRouxAspersioncastEagle_Visionsimon2271
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    Pro tip: Never bite your blow up doll on the tit. She usually farts and flies out the window.

    • 42
    • FAVS
    THAT_MrDevillenotfaizzythatstingspiplipsKevinDeanGandertedjoyKatarinaKrizBulldog0613
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    KevinDeanGanderKatarinaKrizSpiderogerbdbdleeroybrownsilent_musings
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    I am the the king of the three stars on favstar.

    • 39
    • FAVS
    notfaizzythatstingspiplipsKatarinaKrizBulldog0613SIPgirl_FuzzyPimpleoffsidebastard
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    fartlambrusco____timmax69PaigeTerner__
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    I love Doggy style. It allows for both participants to watch the same tv show.

    • 38
    • FAVS
    madamezoobleSiennasonlineMyLongBallsl1zerdTHAT_MrDevillenotfaizzythatstingspiplips
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    THAT_MrDevilleImHopel3ssSpiderogerbdbdleeroybrown
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early kill people.

    • 34
    • FAVS
    SiennasonlineMyLongBallsnotfaizzythatstingspiplipslibbyspeaches____KatarinaKrizBulldog0613
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    KhesusLemonsFoxicakesSpiderogerDataBlackoutfannypatch
    Spideroger
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    With all the government money poured into child services you would think they would do something about Dora's parents considerable neglect.

    • 30
    • FAVS
    MyLongBallsnotfaizzythatstingspiplipsKatarinaKrizBulldog0613bicketybamPatrickDieter
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    bdbdleeroybrownmarimaricomcastsilent_musings
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    Old people automatically assume you want to be told their life story when your sitting reading the paper minding your own fucking business.

    • 31
    • FAVS
    notfaizzythatstingspiplipsKatarinaKrizBulldog0613bicketybamPatrickDieterNotTooFunny
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    bdbdleeroybrown
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    After my vasectomy, I am now commonly referred to as the Christmas tree. Nice balls but only there for decoration.

    • 26
    • FAVS
    Siennasonlinenotfaizzypiplipslibbyspeaches____KatarinaKrizBulldog0613l1zerdyetpo
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    fannypatchSpiderogerbdbdleeroybrownkickstartmeup
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    That horrible feeling when you sit down on a public toilet and the seat is warm. Yeah that feeling.

    • 27
    • FAVS
    notfaizzypiplipsKevinDeanGanderKatarinaKrizBulldog0613fannypatchPatrickDieterImHopel3ss
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    Spiderogersimon2271bdbdleeroybrown
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    When I'm stoned I like to steal ice from the local bar and go down to the river and release them back into the wild.

    Good times.

    • 24
    • FAVS
    notfaizzypiplipsKatarinaKrizBulldog0613fannypatchPatrickDieteroffsidebastardImHopel3ss
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    iaresheCool_JesseJeffstruth
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    I haven't had sex in so long that I'm afraid that when I cum next it's going to come out like talcum powder.

    • 25
    • FAVS
    notfaizzypiplipsKatarinaKrizBulldog0613PatrickDieterShazzaLMoffsidebastardImHopel3ss
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    simon2271bdbdleeroybrown
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    Just found out shoving small rodents up ones ass is frowned upon in these parts. What do they do for fun then? Strange fuckers.

    • 23
    • FAVS
    notfaizzypiplipsKatarinaKrizAh_kee_oh________Bulldog0613ImHopel3ssSpiderogerlemmywinkler______
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    bdbdleeroybrownfailing_at_lifemarimaricomcast
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    I must have had a dumbass magnet inserted into my skull by aliens recently. I seem to attract them like shit to a stick.

    • 20
    • FAVS
    notfaizzypiplipsKatarinaKrizBulldog0613fannypatchoffsidebastardImHopel3ssSpideroger
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    SpiderogerJulesJulietta
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    Trying to get her to #squirt is harder than I thought, plus whales don't like you touching their blow hole.

    • 18
    • FAVS
    SiennasonlinenotfaizzyKatarinaKrizAh_kee_oh________PatrickDieterImHopel3ssTexasChiquitaSpideroger
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    SpiderogerSzargasmNoisyUpThere______
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    This unicorn standing at the end of my bed suggests the drugs are getting stronger the older I get.

    • 17
    • FAVS
    piplipsBulldog0613fannypatchPatrickDieterImHopel3ssSpiderogerlemmywinkler______DMVM1977__________
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    ScarlettPurpleKatarinaKrizHreAmngthDed33marimaricomcast
  • Gumby1975
      Gumbus @Gumby1975

    Pro tip: Don't say Cunt Punt if you plan on keeping your followers.

    Cunt punt cunt punt cunt punt. That should weed out the pussies.

    • 19
    • FAVS
    SiennasonlinenotfaizzyKatarinaKrizBulldog0613PatrickDieterImHopel3ssSpiderogerlemmywinkler______
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Siennasonlinebdbdleeroybrown
@Gumby1975

@Gumby1975

what a strange world we live in. Gotta love it!!!!!