Apple just released the new "LeBron James" iPhone, beware though it only vibrates because it has no rings

How come I feel like Obama is Lucy holding a football and we are all Charlie Brown?

I wonder if the #President realizes it's easy to have used less oil when over 9% of your country isn't working.

I believe in Obama, I also believe in The Force, Superman & that it will take 10 min to renew my license at the DMV.

Does anyone know when @kholekardashian stopped wrestling under the name Andre The Giant?

I don't know what's more insane: voting by color or voting democrat. Oh wait...

Being homosexual is less gay than getting your hair cut like Justin Bieber! #TAF

The high school I went to was 50% black, 30% mexican and 20% terrified

Hey ladies, men get dumped too they just don't constantly tweet about it because they have sports, friends and beer.

We should change all handicap symbols from a person in a wheelchair to an obese person

When someone says "That's illegal in 49 states" you can bet the other state is Kentucky.

Scrolling down my FB page thinkin: "Dont care" 'Whore" "Ur life sucks" "Dumb Bitch" "Dumped Again?" "Another Dumb Bitch"

I spent all last year #Tebowing for a #SuperBowl and the good Lord sent us #Peyton! Thank you Jesus!

I'm currently watching Rise of the Planet of the Apes, not the movie, I'm just in the Walmart parking lot.

Remember kids, arguing on #Twitterislike being in the Special Olympics, even if you win you’re still retarded!

Fox News reports Don Cornelius, the producer & creator of "Soul Train", is now officially part of #blackhistorymonth

I don't ask for follow backs because I prefer to be discovered the way my ancestors were....through retweets!

#Blackfolkcoughdropflavors - Crack Flavor! Just ask Whitney!

I don't really follow pop culture, is Justin Bieber still playing Hannah Montana?

Are there any @kimkardashian fans out there? If so I am conducting a study on people who enjoy eating shit & I need to talk to u.