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Shania Twain is just fucking stupid for not naming her son Choo Choo.
I do so many kegels that my pussy can now beat box
I hated everyone before it was mainstream
I can make a man a millionaire........if he were a billionaire
My son: Mommy I can't wait to grow up and be a man.
Me: Don't be silly son, you can't do both
Sometimes when I'm cumming I think about the first time I beat Super Mario Bros. on Nintendo
"I don't always kill people, but when I do, I don't."-O.J. Simpson
Since there's no wrong way to eat a Reeses, I eat mine while still in the store so I don't have to pay.
One problem with autocorrect is that you always end up posting some thong that you didn't Nintendo.
I just paid my pizza guy for some pizza and by paid I mean blew, by pizza guy I mean drug dealer, and by pizza I mean meth
Don't stab people in the back..It's much easier to reach most of their vital organs from the front
If you're not disturbed by half of the shit I do, then we're probably soulmates
If you don't beat the pussy up like it owes you money, then you're just not doing it right
I don't always masturbate but when I do, wait Nevermind I always do...wrong tweet guys sorry
If by tweetup you mean meth induced butt fucking orgy then yes, count me in
Your man wouldn't be looking at me if you fucked him right
It's not my fault your boyfriend slipped and fell into my pussy..you know cuz, slippery when wet
It's not my fault your crotch keeps staring at my eyes!!
I'm beginning to think this dragon I keep chasing isn't even real!
Some of you jerks should really loosen up and by loosen up I mean do some drugs and butt fuck
I'll swallow you whole.I'll swallow your soul....Eat my dead cunt. IG- bonnyhwilliam.