#FF #FUNNY! @tokenjay @jason_harvey @piepercomedy @guyseidel @guydelines @tophercomplains @levirounds @the_diplomat @codyeden @jelowatanuki

@tokenjay @jabaridavis @freezluvcomedy @comedianjreid @guyseidel @guydelines @comedianjaymac @moufpiece901 @itsdlai @comedianken - eat me

“@guydelines: Someone just touched my phone without asking. Like we're at some orgy lovefest swapping wives or something.” That's funny

@melissamerlot @gavinsundrgrnd @scottrenshaw @ethansincoff @guydelines @brokenheart_ent @slccomedyscene @supermochella Thank you :)

#FF Cool tweeps! @gavinsundrgrnd @scottrenshaw @thehalfscoop @ethansincoff @guydelines @brokenheart_ent @slccomedyscene @supermochella

#FF #Comedians @andy_farnsworth @tophercomplains @levirounds @guyseidel @guydelines @tokenjay @the_diplomat @lamarkellywood @deanweber1

@guydelines @mrfornicator except crocs are comfortable. (Or so I remember).

I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions

:"D RT @guydelines Ex-lovers shouldn't be friends on Facebook. So, if I delete you, it's because I lied and told someone we slept together.

RT @guydelines: Cute girls, don't ever lie to me. Because, I will believe it. And then, it'll be like we're already in a real relationship.

@guydelines if you post that on your FB you'll have all (but 1) of 1000+ divorced, 40ish,female FB friends lined up at your door#justsayin

I <3 @guydelines #FF

#FF FUNNY TIMES! @jelowatanuki @travistatefunny @kfelt00 @jokesjones @patrickinmyhead @crystalchambers @guydelines @stevesoelberg

@guydelines Your twitter definitely has to be my favorite account I follow! Everything is so damn true!

@guydelines exactly.

@guydelines I take a break from #Facebook periodically, myself; except it is because my #IdiocyToleranceMeter reaches maximum capacity.

The Boston bombers didn't even have gun licenses. Their only background check was a guy going "Shh!", looking both ways and saying okay.

My main goal right now is to get 99 emails so I can say, “I got 99 emails and I ain’t read 1.”

I have 64 currently.

@guydelines not anymore. You asked me twice (on twitter) to FB friend you-don't know why though.

@guydelines has interesting dynamic going on with the FB