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Tweeting is thinking out loud. Sometimes there isn't even thinking.
I'm beginning to think some of these imaginary friends who live in my computer have self-awareness...
Imagine me as a therapist: "that behavior right there is your problem. Cut that shit out"
Some people think they're tweets don't stink :D
Earthquake in Alaska. The aliens are waking.
My daughter calls cleavage "boob-crack"
I'd love to be twitter elite but I don't have an avi that's boobilicious and I'm not quite enough of an asshole. Close, but not quite.
I'd get a hobby , but it would cut into my twitter time .
Todays tweets may have been brought to you by the letters P, M, and S
Sometimes I think I should spell better in twitter. Then it occurs to me that it doesn't matter, because these people can't actually read.
It's not swearing if you take the vowels out.
I think funny can be done without being gross.
9yo is learning to make fart noises with her armpit: "armpit power!". Good news is, I won't have to worry about her dating too early.
Tweet and be merry. No one is more important than anyone else. Reply, tweet jokes, tweet serious, whatever. It's entertainment not a job
I try, I die. I try, I die. I try, I die. I give up. That's me playing video games.
If I see a retweet about someone bitching about how people tweet, guarantee I won't follow lol.
If other people's opinions anger you, don't follow people.
Do NOT RT this.
Reverse psychology. Let's test it.
I need to get over my twitter addiction. So you all stop tweeting. Kthnx
Trying to set your husband on fire is apology-worthy too
Overtweeter who will talk to almost anyone. Tweeting for the fun of it. Almost everything I tweet isn't to be taken seriously, or to heart :)