If we're all going to hell anyway, wanna race?

I thought G-Spot was a Rapper.

I suck at Favstar, I'm not even Mayor of my house on 4Square, my cat is my friend on Facebook, thanks to Twitter I don't feel like a loser.

You know what would be really funny? Marijuana crop circles.

"God is dead." - Nietzsche
"Nietzsche is dead" - God
"Reality is false." - Artists
"Art is false." - Realists
"Shut the fuck up!" - me.

I am the most selfish person that I care about.

I'm a genius stuck in a moron's mind.

You are all Celebrities in my mind. In other words, I don't care what you get paid for as long as you are entertaining me.

The Sound Of Mucus #SickMovies

The moral of the story is, you are no better nor worse than anyone. We should be shown love in youth. We all need thus we should all give.

The last time that I was funny was when my Dad thought my Mom was joking about being pregnant.

I don't like bacon. Am I kicked out of Twitter?

Roy Rogers and Shirley Temples are gateway cocktails.

1 mans truth = 1 mans lie. 1 mans lie = 1 mans denial. 1 mans denial = 1 mans ignorance. 1 mans ignorance = 1 mans truth.

I don't call it insomnia. I call it tiny anti-death naps.

We should change the name of the condom to condemn. Pleasure vs fear.

You'll do it this weekend because I asked you to 5 months ago. - Wives

I'm asleep. Talk amongst yourselves.

Spending the day at the beach is fun. Wandering the parking lot... putting fries in convertibles to lure the Seagulls.

So the .01% representing the 99% are being victimized by the 1% and the 3% that protect the 100%. People are wrong 203.01% of the time.