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The people who tell you exactly what you want to hear all the time are not really your friends.
I'm an atheist resident of Virginia and I just voted. If I thought prayers worked today would be the day to start them.
This was a craptacular ending to a shitastic day.
This holiday weekend, we're ill & emptying bottles of NyQuil instead of beer. I still get to see fireworks, just not the way I intended.
I love you Joe Biden. #VPDebate
I love you. I've loved you since the day I met you and I will love you until the day I die.
Is it bad that every time I see a celebrity's name trending I think they're dead, or is it only bad if I'm disappointed when I'm wrong?
The people who never wonder if they might be insane are the craziest of all. #Avoid
Some people are as charming as bowel movements; too bad they can't be flushed away as easily.