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I was watching my neighbours wife sunbathing topless from my window
As i was jerking off i notice my wife staring at me
My wifes a pervert
You know when you plan to tell someone off, real quick & brutal...then wind up having a half hour pleasant conversation with them?
So long colonel potter...time for a MASH marathon
Things that violate my lease, but as a scared tennant i put up with #6 : the washing machine being burned out by landlord's mail-order bride
The next 50 people who tell me to follow someone for a "shoutout" get kicked in the nuts/she-nuts
Attention dickhead in the old civic blasting heavy metal : everyone was laughing at you already...stalling on take-off made us laugh harder
Beard cultivator, beer demolisher, Renault driver...and a fan of those old papery things called books