Can't we all just get high and make out?

Texas eyes, Chicago thighs, French lips, Detroit charm, California confidence & some NYC style.

"Fuck you, I'm hot." -soup

"I want my penis to make out with your vagina." #PickUpLines

I fucking LOVE cuddling.

Cotton swabs are just ear dildo's.

"The Notebook! Baking! Rain! Boys are confusing! Ugh, my hair! Couple-y things in sepia tone! Love, good! Sluts, bad!" -Every Girl Post Ever

#mexicankidproblems Finding out someone you've been friends with is related to you.

Ay yo girl, I like them legs look nice but they'd look nicer wrapped around me. Because if we wrestle, I WILL TAKE YOU DOWN, BITCH.

The minute I'm done with this essay, I will wrap myself in blankets to make a human burrito of comfort. #snuglife

The main difference between Twitter and Facebook is that on Twitter no one has to give a fuck about your birthday.

Ryan Gosling is way hotter than Bradley Cooper. JUST SO YOU ALL KNOW THE TRUTH.

Not to brag, but I'm REALLY lonely.

I'll eat fruit snacks while I'm on the toilet. I don't give a fuck.

Blacks get all of February. Sharks get a week. Mexicans get Cinco de Mayo. Thus, America thinks sharks > Mexicans.

If the 2012 end of days is true, I'll still be pretty happy about not having to deal with the whole "your"/"you're" problem.

"I have to pee!" -Girls

"Too bad DTF doesn't mean Down To Fall... In Love!" There goes a freebie for you "Girl Tweets" accounts.

Remember when I used to use my phone to text real-life friends and not just tweet!? LOL me neither. :(

Dark-skinned girls with blonde hair have given up on life. Please RT.