Everyone is damaged. You're not special.

People are liars. They don't want you to be yourself. They want a socially acceptable version of you.

I don't have friends. I have people who I ignore less frequently than everyone else.

I hate you just the way you are.

If I sit on your face & you die of asphyxiation, Im finishing before I call 911. Just saying.

Don't make this weird. *snaps latex gloves*

In my opinion, fuck your opinion.

Twitter, because I'm pretty on the inside.

I just want to hate shit without people asking what the fuck is wrong. I dont need a fucking reason!

You would make a superb speed bump.

I enjoy sex the same way I enjoy murder, hard & slow.

I hate it when the trashbag falls inside the trashcan. Now I have to reach thru the bloody tampons, cat shit & dead baby parts to get it out

I keep thinking how gross these bread sticks are, but I keep putting them in my mouth....just like any good woman.

I'd let Michael J Fox go down on me as long as he was off the Parkinson's meds.

Fist pumping is only acceptable inside a vagina.

Why is it that chicks named Peaches always smell like rotten cooter juice?

Just got out the shower, Im not sure I got my hair clean enough. Will you smell my vagina for me?

STOP...STOP....STOP everything you're doing! STOP! Hammer Time!

Two wrongs make a good time.

I know I'm in love when u quote Nickleback lyrics to me and I miss all major arteries when I stab you repeatedly.