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Gay For Hitler. Chapter 1: The Fab Fuhrer
Today Christians around the globe realized that Adam and Eve were never married. Pope turns to science to invent time travel so to fix this.
To the bearded muscle cub who flipped me off in traffic: Just know I'm gonna jerk it to you later. Know that fact.
Just blew a kiss to my cat and she started purring. You guys, I think she's the one.
Late night viewing of Black Dynamite with some of the meltdown dudes. Fuckin a.
Just smoked weed for the first time with my mom. By which I mean I smoked weed for the first time ever, and it was with my mother.
I used to rock and roll, now I just stare blankly and masturbate discreetly.
I retweet things I think are funny. I favorite things I'm too ashamed to let people know I think is funny.
Thinkin' 'bout butts. TAKE THAT GOP!
SHUT UP AND DRINK THIS AND PUNCH THAT AND HAVE REGRETTABLE SEX UNTIL YOU'VE CROSSED THAT LINE YOU CAN'T UNCROSS #HappyStPattysDay
Today is a dinosaur socks kind of day.