When I clicked on favstar's Popular People it said "Not You"

Don't answer the door it might be somebody.

Only 160 more tweets to fulfill the community service portion of my sentence.

I don't like to think of myself as 'unpopular'. Rather, I regard myself as 'fringe'. It's all in how you spin it.

"The first rule of White Club is don't be not white." - Grand Dragon

Hey salt Nazi. I don't have to taste it to know that it needs more salt. I can tell just by looking at it.

For sale: Dignity, hardly ever used. Comes with sense of shame (still in box). Call for details.

Zero Dark Thirty doesn't taste the same as the regular Dark Thirty.

Cheez Whiz is my favorite whiz based food product.

Some people have so many followers w/ every tweet getting hundreds of stars that giving another one is like donating money to Paris Hilton.

"That's what she said." - That's what he said.

My ultimate goal is to communicate entirely through ironic t-shirts.

'Impale him." - Shit My Vlad Says

If I get to 100 followers by tomorrow I will go to work in assless chaps. Again.

"We're going to need a bigger brat." - Wurst joke ever.

"The first rule of Talk Club is: You do not fight about Talk Club."

I don't hate you. I just love the opposite of you.

I'm pretty sure I spend way more time trying to decipher some tweets than was spent creating them.

Fun suggestion: When using a public restroom, yell "Fire in the hole" as loud as you can.

My secret power is dropping something and making it disappear into another dimension.