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LA makes a lot more sense if you assume "screenplay" to be a euphemism for "suicide note."
So if a guy has sex with you and you don't get pregnant, does that mean he knocked you down?
@robdelaney he would've gotten out of those towers, too, had he not been debilitated by the effects of marijuana.
@pftompkins The LA Complex is unabashedly my favorite scripted show on TV right now. I wish I could binge eat all the episodes at once.
@chelseavperetti I thought your Ray-J talk on Kathy's show was a little odd, but suddenly it made perfect sense. http://t.co/Cc1XtISw
Everyone should see this especially @ogrupp @sbellelauren @vanessaragland and also especially everyone else http://t.co/CR0k4QDI
My mom saw this @sfsketchfest poster by @scottlava over FaceTime- she immediately asks "is that @reggiewatts?"(it is!) http://t.co/6KOF7RxM
"Show me on your hand! If you show me on my face these nerds' penises will go insane." - @lennonparham #saveBFF #BFFday
@meganamram what about all the crossover? Will you say them twice?
A thing I wrote is gonna be a thing you can watch & I couldn't be more excited! Thx to @nittwitstv @ambertozer @sbellelauren @xmaswarmachine
It's not a coincidence that "fitness" and "fuck this" sound alike
Are you available & awesome in LA Mon night? Buy 1 ticket to @generositywater comedy benefit & I'll pay for your guest. http://t.co/lPbahUQA
@chrisfranjola I feel like your autograph just tripled in value tonight (although 3x priceless is still priceless)
Oh good, I finally tweezed the one stray eyebrow hair that was making me ugly. Things are gonna change from here on out.
@robdelaney that's not nice to say to a woman who's so great... DANE!
Why does a grilled cheese sandwich sound awesome but a cheese sandwich sounds like poverty
SF will be burned to the ground in 30 minutes or less or it's free
Upwards of 100k Good Christian Lives have been SAVED by @robdelaney & the Lord's #420NO campaign 🙏🐑📢💒😷👶
I'm full of two things. One is ideas.
