After 31 years in prison, Video was paroled today, despite a very moving victim's impact statement from the Radio Star's family.

Larry King is on @joyvbehar AND his own show. My mind is BLOWN.

broken air conditioner has turned my car into a sweat lodge on wheels. The wolf gives good directions but the hawk is a back seat driver.

@secretservice please take this guy down. He's a danger to the community. -----> @santilliman

“@eatnutritious: A McDonald's McRib sandwich contains some of the same ingredients found in yoga mats.”

There's despair in yoga mats?!

I know Mr. Bieber is beloved, but come on, this is hilarious. #U2 #God pic.twitter.com/H8YOBYhvho

Every white person in America thinks their oppressed ancestors came here no earlier than 1890. So why so many sounding like slaveholders?

I'll be a grown up the day that the mention of beef Stroganoff doesn't give me the giggles. #NotThatDay

Venison jerky always makes me think of Rudolph's father, and what a dick he was about the whole red nosed thing.

am calling dibs on the HLN anchor desk so I can rave to a panel of experts when Nancy Grace finally goes on a killing spree

@linnyitssn Conservative Christians don't work for God. Never have. Never will.

I wish constant, guttural throat clearing & dramatic sneezes had the stigma that farting has.

Out, demons. pic.twitter.com/SkJZRXdbj1

Here's hoping the conclave is a sting operation by InterPol to bag a big batch of child rapists at once.

Tea Party people, listen up.You go on social media and threaten civil war. You think nobody is taking that seriously?

Believing in nothing makes life so boring.

Too bad the lost hour isn't a pretty white girl. Nancy Grace would devote a whole show to finding it. #springforward

@persvanstrom @realdonaldtrump Per is cute. Donald, you are not. No way you see the inside of a vagina w/o a down payment.

So Tim Tebow is an OUT OF WORK virgin now.

@toconservatives Well, I once was a Republican AND an NRA member, so there's hope. Of course, I never drank the Tea.