My daughter needs picking up, its too windy for her to walk apparently..

Haha daughter just back, made her poor grandad play in car Dubstop full volume.

Engelbert Humperdinck I just like saying it

Neighbour always ends our conversations with a wink. Im going to beat him to it next time..

Have you done your xmas shopping yet? i bet all the people who iron their sheets have.

According to daughter we are snowed in, so bf has to stay the night.

Bet the satellite finds me today. Can't even go down a park without being fucking klonked by a football.

#NameSomethingYouDontLikeThatEveryoneElseLikes Winnie the pooh tattoos usually on fat arms or cankles.

Got given a present from one of the residents at my care home the other day, a pickled onion:/

I can see why Shaun Ryder advising the Tory's could have been seen as a plausible story. He believes in UFO's and aliens remember...

My positive places to go in Luton poster just looks like one great big zombie fest.

@johnkobeck @thewarholmuseum He would follow himself I would expect..

Essential Films Noir | film noir  http://shar.es/CVMs1  via @sharethis

#unwrittenlawsofsociety If someone asks how are you? just answer with fine, tha'ts all they want to hear..

Make a blockbuster starring your block. See a robot unleash chaos in your neighborhood. Good thing @statefarm is there. http://t.co/mVh07PKo

@walshedog just a bit, us British birds tend do get that way now and then haha..

Lovely morning, was having a great dream about Colin Farrell until he murdered me.

I've got a stalker who follows me at work, wonder where I can hide his zimmer frame.

#iTendTo Nod and look totally like i believe them, when they are clearly bullshitting, amuses me no end.

Just said no way to 4ft rooster weather vane, don't want this place to be referred to as cock house.