@HenryRepeater's (Jason Mullin) most faved Tweets...
I always tell people that Meadowlark Lemon is my favorite song by the Beatles.
Most nod their head and pretend like they’ve heard it too.
Most nod their head and pretend like they’ve heard it too.
I drove my car thru a gym, throwing trash at people on stationary bikes yelling "get the fuck off the road" They appreciated the realism.
People like fortune cookies. If I wrote fortunes, I would toss in the "You should get tested" one here and there.
Just to keep it real.
Just to keep it real.
Being a carpenter has killed my vocabulary. "Put those motherfuckers next to each other" is easier than explaining what juxtapose means.
Know what you never see? Vaginal accessories. I'm just saying, a little bow down there would be so fucking cute sometimes.
I'm beginning to believe that most of you are a professional at nothing. These so called 'tips' never work out as advertised.
I'd like to take a moment and remind everyone that your parents masturbate. Some might be doing it right now. You should call them.
I gotta admit, I kinda miss being married. Without someone constantly undermining my self-esteem, I'm starting to turn into a real dick.
Coitus Interuptus just sounds so much more regal than 'pulling out'....or "where do you want me to cum?"
It is my dream that someday we can all get together and discover how much we don't like one another in person.
No friends use twitter. One told me it was "gay" Hmm. Gay? Well that ten year "dry streak" your riding seems a little "gay" to me, chief.
I'm so grounded in reality, my masturbatory visual aid of choice is the lingerie section from a Lane Bryant catalog.
I have made far too many life decisions based on whether or not I would have to shave in the morning.
Years ago, a girlfriend gave me a switchblade and a handle of Jack for my birthday. She's the one that got away.
When there are different spellings of the same trending topic going on, is it racist to investigate the clearly 'white people' version only?
Picking up women at the grocery store is all fun and games until you get an obvious erection while hoisting another one off the ground.
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