@dogboner #chrisbrownpickuplines Hey girl, are you tired? Because you've been running into my fist all day

@fanfiction_txt "I didn't kill my wife!" Sonic yelled over the rush of the water. Boba Fett grinned under his helmet. "I don't care."

@lazerdoov my favorite part about Canada is "Stop" signs are "hey, whatever you feel like, bud. Just please be careful" signs

@fanfiction_txt Joey from Friends begins to carve the turkey. "Duke Nukem, light or dark meat?" Kirby transforms into a turkey leg.

@fanfiction_txt "Now let's see who the killer REALLY is," said Fred, removing the mask only to reveal Duke Nukem. "Bitchin'" rasped Duke.

PLEASE LET CARL DIE. PLEASE LET CARL DIE. PLEASE LET CARL DIE. PLEASE LET CARL DIE. PLEASE LET CARL DIE #TheWalkingDead #KillCarl

@fanfiction_txt Strong Bad rats out Homestar Runner to the Department of Homeland Security

I want a girl with a short skirt and a loooooong skirt

Kony, I'ma let you finish but Master Splinter was the greatest child warrior trainer of ALL. TIME. #TMNT

My dick got kicked out of Zero Dark Thirty for shouting at the screen

@muscularson in the distance you hear a dim, echoing scream "briiiicck... squaaaaad...."

#DEWgothamcity it's not the soda we want... or the soda we deserve

"WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS BITCH MEAN BY 'HI'??" lamooooo "@iamkris24: #TheManual "The Relapse" by Me & @idisrespecthoez  http://bit.ly/UNIiLA "

Underwater, no one can hear you pee

wow ok so if you're gonna call something a "drug test" but just take some of my hair, call it a hair cut. Also, please don't drink that pee

@haha_what I heard Marilyn Mason had surgery to remove his diick so he could eat ribs better...?

Leap Day is a fake holiday made up by the Leap Day corporations in order to sell more Leap Days *phone explodes and creates black hole*

@fanfiction_txt the FOX NFL Sunday robot joins forces with Voltron

Didn't know @dogboner was this deep in the detergent game http://t.co/eXlvnFss

Skrillex is the sound your zipper makes when you accidentially get one of your balls caught in there