Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
You think your job is bad? You could be the NSA guy tasked with monitoring my Twitter account.
You see Canadians don't apologize for everything, just now I did not apologize to toast for being put in the toaster.
/ / ＼＼
ﾚ ノ ヽ_つ
/ / Unhappy for no reason
| |、 \
| 丿 ＼
| | ) /
ノ ) Lﾉ
The hallway bird is gone but my fear remains like a loyal friend.
A shampoo bottle falls in the shower. I have a heart attack. Fin.
*holds up a flaming hot cheeto during a slow ballad*
Julia just fed the dang bird
I like finding people I know on tinder and thinking haha you're totally fatter than that you liar.
I wonder, sometimes, if the cat knows it's weird to stare at me when I'm on the toilet. Like, is he zoned out or playing mind games?
RT if it's nearly 2am and you're filled with aimless hatred lol
Violence is never the answer unless the question is "What kind of cool stuff can your dad do with his belt?"
Just woke up from sleeping to google "how much did Bruce Willis bench in Unbreakable". The internet saves the day again.
You're so vein.
You probably flub other homophones, too.
I don't even like the things I like anymore.