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If I take up knitting all of you are getting penis cozies.
Idea: Coffee dispenser gadgets for the shower. You're welcome Keurig!
Person in TrailBlazer who cut me off...charming that the only trail you're blazing is in the WalMart parking lot! Ass!
Woman in the library reading room says she won't be rowdy and disturb me. Proceeds to put on tin foil hat and converse with voices. Liar!
My dogs are kind of a big deal on Instagram.
"Autocorrect saves a lot of mother***ers until you meet them." wisely put!
Those off brand crocs really set off your dad jeans!
Sweating like a priest at an altar boy convention!
To the fucker who stole my purse yesterday: You, me, elevator, tooth pick.
When you approach life from a perspective rooted deeply in a sense of security, and with love-amazing things can develop.
Today in the bathroom mirror: Before/after heavy meth use slide show...or the coffee maker broke. RIP my sweet red KitchenAid lover...
Tostito'a scoops: leading cause of leprosy. No that wouldn't stop you from eating the entire bag.
Mondays: Where the 40 grit sandpaper meets the taint!