I just downloaded a book from the DC Public Library to my Kindle. This is the Jetsons America I was promised as a child. What a country.

Online dating reminds me that we are not investing enough, as a nation, in teaching basic literacy. Also that people are stupid

New word I just invented for my mother: flawgic--flawed logic. You're welcome.

Word of the day: craydar, similar to gaydar except it helps you figure out who NOT to sit next to at brunch.

Mother's Day is always bittersweet for urban folks away from our families. Because you can't get a decent brunch table ANYWHERE.

Phone just autocorrected "happy" to "gspot". I think my day has...peaked.

Dear men: Please please stop taking newspapers into the bathroom @ work. That is for home. In public, civilized people just use their phones

New word number two for my sister: cranxious--to be cranky due to underlying anxiety. ALT: when one's crankiness causes anxiety in others

It would be a great night to have a boyfriend. Or a lover. Or an internet connection that reliably downloaded video without buffering.

The huge downside of Amazon Prime is when you wake up filled with regret about midnight shopping you can't cancel bc it's already shipped.

Downside of sharing a Kindle account with your mon: She buys 50 Shades of Gray and you must live in terror that she will discuss it with you

Special to @asplenia---8 Signs It's PMS and Not a Worrisome New Mental Illness - http://t.co/D0Bcn6ty

Related: I received a book called Semenology for my bday & if you think that is a horrifying book abt making drinks w/semen, you are correct

I have one extra ticket for tonight's @frabbits show @930club 930 if anyone is looking. ..

Standing next to a guy at Murphys. He asks for his credit card and his name is TOM RIDDLE. It's the end times, you guys, and I'm drunk.

@magnolia2010 Thank you for blogging about #scintilla2013. It's just what my blog life needs right now and I'm excited. @scintillahq

Was vibing a little bit with the new pharmacist til I realized that no one who fills my prescriptions is EVER going to ask me out on a date

I wish adult dating was more like middle school, when you could get your friend to suss things out so everyone could save face.

Office crush update: we parked next to each other this morning.Isn't that sweet? I waited til he left and cast a minor love spell on his car

Still giggling @themikelawrence "I'm bisexual--straight enough to notice a beautiful woman but gay enough to treat her like a human being"