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I luv a women who gives such a good blow job I have to pull the bedsheet out of my ass
If I see guy driving a hummer I think he has a small penis
If I see a woman driving a hummer
I think she has a penis
Excuse me - Gigantic, Chewbacca looking woman
Pepper Spray on you're key chain
If youre vagina claps when you run, I probably can't work with that
When a woman Dominates your Mind
That's sexy as hell !
The best thing about being super strong is how easliy I open pickle jars :}
I feel so lost today, like a mini M&M that that fell inside a fat woman's shirt.
I can carry all you're grocery bags in the house at once
Another good reason to date me ....
Fuck wrapping a scallop in bacon
I wanna wrap a woman in bacon
I tweet therefore I am
Time to go take Viagra and punch some holes through Sheetrock
When you kiss that spot on a woman's neck and it smells like heaven.
I'm pretty sure that gay guys like to sing the last word of every sentence..
Is it to soon to ask you to tongue punch my fartbox
I know exactly what the celebs on celebrity rehab need. A JOB !!!
Facebook is the weed
Twitter is the black tar heroin
Tomorrow night I'm gonna take 4 Viagra and go planking on the tip of my cock
I wanna tongue paddle you're lady canoe
Thank god my cock doesn't make a springing sound every time I get a boner