I luv a women who gives such a good blow job I have to pull the bedsheet out of my ass

If I see guy driving a hummer I think he has a small penis

If I see a woman driving a hummer
I think she has a penis

Excuse me - Gigantic, Chewbacca looking woman

Pepper Spray on you're key chain

You Wish

If youre vagina claps when you run, I probably can't work with that

When a woman Dominates your Mind

That's sexy as hell !

The best thing about being super strong is how easliy I open pickle jars :}

I feel so lost today, like a mini M&M that that fell inside a fat woman's shirt.

I can carry all you're grocery bags in the house at once



Another good reason to date me ....

Fuck wrapping a scallop in bacon

I wanna wrap a woman in bacon

I tweet therefore I am



An idiot

Time to go take Viagra and punch some holes through Sheetrock

When you kiss that spot on a woman's neck and it smells like heaven.

Priceless ......

I'm pretty sure that gay guys like to sing the last word of every sentence..

Is it to soon to ask you to tongue punch my fartbox

Twitter!!

Come Horny

Leave Hornier

I know exactly what the celebs on celebrity rehab need. A JOB !!!

Facebook is the weed

Twitter is the black tar heroin

Tomorrow night I'm gonna take 4 Viagra and go planking on the tip of my cock

Thank god my cock doesn't make a springing sound every time I get a boner

I wanna tongue paddle you're lady canoe