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I don't talk to most of the chicks on here, cause I don't like dudes.
If you're over 25 and you still work at Hot Topic, I bet you're parent's basement smells like Kush, dirty puss, and attempted suicide.
Every time a white girl sucks my dick, I donate a dollar to the Abusive Father Foundation.
When I go on job interviews I always tell them that my name is Kunta Kinte, I mean what kind of racist fuck wouldn't hire Kunta Kinte.
I don't have any tattoos, because you don't put a bumper sticker on a Bentley.
Watching a Michael Cera porn would probably be just like watching Woody Allen shop for fruit.
Some funny nigga stole my mood ring and now I think I'm mad, but I'm just not sure.
One man's trash (is another man's daughter) is sitting on my face, right now.
Before I fuck a hooker, I make her play Grand Theft Auto with me, just so she knows what she's getting into.
If you text me and I text you right back it means my girl friend has my phone, so just text me "I'll see you at work tomorrow."
You can take a nigga out the hood, but you can't take the hoodie off a white girl without her screaming rape.
I'm the black James Bond, Jamaal Bond. I drive a convertible 'Lac, all my Bond bitches are thick as hell and my main nemesis is the Man.
I've got a date tonight with a girl I met on match.com. All I know about her is, she likes to party, her name is Casey and she has no kids.
No sorry, I don't like milkshakes, I came out to the yard because I heard there's horse shoes.
If a girl waits til the 3rd date to give me some pussy, I just wait til the 4th date to dump her.
Every time a chick tells me that she loves me, I take my dick out of her ass, wipe it off on her sheets and leave through the window.
I love my followers, which is why I play all these games with ya'll, but ya'll some no starring bitches.
Have you ever taken a shit that made you wonder if you were gay?
I'd call most of you racist, if you weren't so funny.
I go to church for the pussy.
Ill make yo gurl screech like a whistle, shell be saved by da bell. I wear a watch on my dick, cuz you gotta have time to fuck. Home of the #niggafy game.
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