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Kids are just Fuck trophies
Nothing's more satisfying than when "the one that got away" turns into "whew, dodged that bullet."
If mobile had a hip swinging contest for women walking down town, I'd win the "miss attracts all the dangerous minorities"award
A lady never spits
There are two small children screaming in this house, and I'm pretty sure my tubes just tied themselves
I really hate the fact this copy machine has had me on my knees all morning. Well played.
Laying on the couch, drinking a beer, scratching my lady balls
There are just a couple of people I'd love to hug with a phone cord
There is nothing more trashy than a 300lb bitch in a dress 2 sizes too small smoking a cigarette
Tim tebow is the most talked about white bronco since OJ's car chase
That feeling where you realize you never really loved someone
No shirt no skirt no heels, all I'm in is just skin
Got hit on by the UPS man, gives whole new meaning to delivering a package
Whenever I see a strange man walking across a busy street, I can't help but think he just committed a murder
Where the hell are those nutjobs from westboro Baptist church when you need them?
I make medium rare steaks and I'm god Damn American
The abundance of weirdos that stare at me on a daily basis these days has really done something for my self esteem
I could never wish death on someone, but I do wish pregnancy on anorexic chicks
Hug_machine: purveyor of exceptional affections. Also. I run alot. ^_^