@clayburn I try to do this, but I just end up posting even more offensive tweets. My mind gets the best of me every time.

Yesssss so fetch! RT @usatodaycollege Thursday is Mean Girls Tweets Day - nothing but MG quotes from us - #meangtweets

@zldoty I'm in a commuted relationship with Nutella

This is such a fail.

Still no power and now they're predicting a nor'easter on Monday/Tuesday. FML FML FML

@christhehunk they did delete RT @kitchenaidusa: Obamas gma even knew it was going 2 b bad! 'She died 3 days b4 he became president'

You should be required to drink veritaserum before participating in a presidential debate. #debate #debate2012

I think we need to get #SaveBigBird trending.

This is why. http://t.co/aRu40hnK

Found the twitter specs for the header photo! Minimum dimensions 1252x626 with max file size of 5MB #NEWTWITTER

The prize should be more food. RT @menshumor More food should come with prizes inside it.

A kitten starves every time you ride the elevator one floor.

I could survive on milkshakes alone.

And then somebody decided to autotune Mister Rogers.

I hope the only kiss you get tonight is from a Dementor.

Head is killing me so I can't sleep so obviously I'm trolling instagram

Wow, North Carolina approved the ban? Really disappointed in the lack of progress. #marriage #family

Yelled "no touching" during the prison scene. #downtonabbey #arresteddevelopment

Oh, where is my Peeta?

We call it Dominance Ball. #cougartown