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Got mistaken for a pair of maracas today. I'm still pretty shaken up.
I guess your butt's what I needed.
Don't talk to strangers or anybody else.
Hey, the Björk Store called. I couldn't understand them because they were speaking Icelandic.
It's a good thing I'm not a fish since I don't know how to swim.
Make a sandwich’s day.
“Hey look, it’s Amber!” - amber alert
Thanks to my bee street team I’m breaking out in hives.
The pushup was invented by a drunk person who fell and couldn't get up.
Never trust a vegetarian painter.
I'm at that age when I'm starting to begin sentences with "I'm at that age."
An apple a day is expensive. I wish laptops weren't disposable.
EARN BIG MONEY TWERKING FROM HOME
Tonight, on a very special episode of Blossom, everyone drinks cyanide laced Kool-Aid as part of a mass suicide pact.
Stuff my stuff with stuff.
I always thought the Illuminati was an Italian lamp store.
I only have 26 letters to work with. Don't expect any miracles. In real life I'm a producer at a TV station. Don't judge me.