Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
*wakes up green day* okay weezer, your turn.
Imagine having a good haircut.
Home schooling teaches children how to become a home.
I'm not who I say I am. I'm a sausage roll pretending to be a block of wood pretending to be an '87 Trans Am pretending to be a curling iron
"I'll have an Ebola."
"Is Pepsi okay?"
Ernest Sells His Baby Shoes
I couldn't help noticing you're bleeding from the eyes. Can I buy you a drink?
If you want to scare away a bear ask it to listen to your podcast.
Thinking about changing my avi to a pic of Elisha Cuthbert.
If you or a loved one has Ebola
you may be entitled to a cash settlement.
'Cause I've got one ham in my pocket / And the other one is giving a high five
Ebola? In THIS economy???
What part of the cow is considered the abunga?
Face down, ass up, that's how my doctor performs a colonoscopy.
That's not a giraffe, that's a horse on stilts!
Not one psychic has correctly guessed that I'm thinking Arby's.
Many people died from starvation before food was invented.
Bae all that you can bae.
MISSED CONNECTION: You were on the same planet as me.
I only have 26 letters to work with. Don't expect any miracles. I was on a podcast once: http://bit.ly/18zxVBH