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You lost me at "There was an old woman who lived in a shoe."
when's a good time to give up
"I'm cumming!" - famed actor Alan Cumming, having sex.
Hot singles in your area wish you would turn up the air conditioning.
Sepp Blatter sounds like a medical condition that affects middle-aged men.
Never trust a shark that calls you "chum."
do army ants volunteer or do they have a draft
"Uh-oh!" - the first person to throw a boomerang.
Can't stop wondering how many different foods Guy Fieri has had sex with.
Sex with me is like riding a bike. There's a lot of inflating with a pump.
If at first you don't succeed, go back to bed.
Get well soon, people who need wells.
I want someone to teach me how to write a self-help book.
This summer I'm sending my daughter to John Cougar Mellen Camp.
As seen in @playboy, @mandatory, @pleatedjeans, @theCHIVE, etc. I was on a podcast once: http://bit.ly/18zxVBHiuuyyb
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