Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
How much of a Christmas bonus should you give your henchmen?
Quick question for the people who leave Yelp reviews of McDonald's: Why?
Living my life to its dullest.
JAY-Z and the PU-Z Cats
Currently on the opposite of a hunger strike.
No one ever talks about Winnie the Pooh’s scat porn addiction.
I am behind butts 100 percent.
Some nuts are pecans. The rest are pecants.
Psychics know how I feel about them.
Carrie Underwood as Maria von Trapp? I did Nazi that coming!
Keep doing things, people who do things.
My favorite religious fish has to be the holy mackerel.
Capitalist Jesus turns water into profits.
“You only breakup The Beatles once.” - Yolo Ono.
For Christmas I’m getting my zombie father a “World’s Greatest Dead” mug.
I like to pretend I’m a character in a movie and hang up the phone without saying goodbye.
Ugh, just smauged my pants.
“I need to take a leek!” - kleptomaniac who only steals vegetables.
If penguins were meant to fly they would be issued a valid photo I.D.
My only regret is the culmination of every other regret I’ve had in my life.
I only have 26 letters to work with. Don't expect any miracles.