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"I'm not stupid, you know." - stupid people.
Man Bites Doug
Loading up on carb[uretor]s.
Rock and roll all night AND party every day? No thanks.
Jerk chicken is just chicken that hunted and killed a lion inhumanly.
When you open a bag of M&M’s do you eat the M’s first or the M’s?
“Let me be Blunt.” - Emily Blunt.
“Fuck hamsters!” - gerbils.
you guys ever eat food?
I’d be lion if I said I was shot by a dentist.
Everybody was Kung Fu fighting. Worst Chinese restaurant I’ve ever been to.
A service that will drive your potato to its destination called Tuber.
At this point, pretty much everyone is better than ezra.
“It’s a crap!” - Admiral Ackbar on the toilet.
It’s a good thing I’m not a violin player because I don’t know how to play the violin.
Circuit breakers be trippin’.
Motion to call feet legends.
As seen in @playboy, @mandatory, @pleatedjeans, @theCHIVE, etc. I was on a podcast once: http://bit.ly/18zxVBHiuuyyb
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