Im not sure what strip club etiquette is but can i ask her where she gets her clothes?

So over this thing called work. Bring on the long weekend :)

Fuck you nose bleeds!

Dear Alcohol,
We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer....
I saw the video.
We need to talk...

Cold, wet, and stuck with the most annoying person i have ever met.

Would you fuck a guy wearing an ascot?

Vaginas assemble is our new band name but we don't play any instruments :) @heathgasm @sarah_face

Whore tour :)

How can you be a car thief if you cannot drive a car?

#FF @his_victimx @jstcallmefrank @onezees @sarah_face @marcotiero @mothpete @whocuppedmycake @phungshway @sirshucky @rfernandez666

You know your shorts are too short when your tampon string hangs out! #gross

Apparently it's not okay to walk into court with a fork...

Its official, im married to kenny powers

Employee 1 "Do we need more minute maid orange juice" ...Employee 2 "Which one is that" ...Employee 1 "The orange one"

Sipping champagne and watching a movie with @iamcunner :) Great way to celebrate an anniversary <3

Fuck you...if I'm being too loud come over and tell me. Don't call the fucking police!!!!!

"Get out of my swag bubble" - @sarah_face while playing beer pong with @heathgasm

Beer pong with my homies :)

For all the soldiers past and present, we remember #lestweforget

@iamcunner lol, nothing says Christmas like chilli lights