@sortabad bitches love pomegranate.

#MexicanGandalf sighting  http://instagr.am/p/VXELCvSZHp/ 

Hey, people who wait until you're at the car to find your keys, way to keep being easy murder targets!

26 years ago, a doctor resisted the urge to put @korypee back in. Happy birthday, buddy.

Like a true American, I had homemade tamales for breakfast today.

Martha Stewart has more street cred than most of us.

Adventurous drive home. Saw a car veer off road a bit, clip a sign and keep right on driving.

I once tried to sing beautifully to a woman. Turns out Gregorian Chants aren't as romantic as I was hoping.

"Name something you pull out." Family Feud just proved that I am not mature.

Watching Family Feud reminds me about how much I hate people.

Reached an all new low on my way home by letting a cuddly little bunny rabbit scare me to death.

Wearing my sunglasses when I'm driving home at night ups my street cred, right?

Either I came home last night with only one sock or there's a sock thief sneaking around the house again.

@korypee This won't work. Nobody can spell your last name.

@korypee fuck your horses

@nickbossross I'm looking forward to a PowerPoint presentation that overuses the dissolve transition.

"Intense discussion about Toy Story" basically sums up my Monday.

Had very little to do today. Have very little to do tomorrow and the day after. Also, Monday. I'm already bored as hell.

Our fridge doesn't make ice cubes. It makes jagged pieces of frozen water.

@korypee MREs?