"I WILL NOT KEG-STAND FOR THIS"- BRO with principles

My main concern about Ron Paul is how long hes been out of the rap game.

A wim wam bizzle / A bop rop friggle fraggle / jello puddin pop -Bill Cosby Haiku

Like my grandfather always said, "The shed is no place to keep your grandfather!"

Something horrible happened  https://vine.co/v/bxFejevmPOi 

Whats that one rap song where they express their concerns with the femenist movment?

Just saw a couple making out on a tandem bicycle. As of now me and the universe aren't talking anymore.

I came out twice in my life. Once to friends and family, and then again when I made Jcrew my homepage.

My Michael Clarke Turduncan joke just ruined thanksgiving.

"My eyes are up here", I said to the clearly inexperienced optometrist.

Just tried to open a bottle with a can opener, so this whole adult thing probably isn't going to work out.

Too many indian givers hide behind the title "surrogate mother".

What do you get when you give a Labrador retriever meth? A methlab!
Whats that? My own HBO special?

Ill know ive made it when I can afford a Trader Joes sample booth for my house.

My cardigan didn't come with a traditional wife or a small child like the brooks brothers catalog suggested.

Somewhere on the internet theres a twinky fetish community losing their shit.

We get it Michael Caine, you can replace all our dads.

Elephants never forget, and thats why they drink.

"There are plenty of fish in the sea" -guy who fucks fish

Not all slide whistles are rape whistles, but all rape whistles should be slide whistles.