Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Gonna work on being edgier. How many Hitlers does it take to rape an abortion? Black people.
Na na na na, Rosh Hashanah, hey hey hey, the Jews.
I feel like the corndog isn't the apex of dipping hot dogs in things, and yet, it seems like there's almost no development in that field.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Boy Tell 'Em.
With Dave & Busters, its pretty easy to tell which one of them handled business and which one handled video games.
WHO WANTS TO COME OVER AND LISTEN TO POP PUNK AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND NEVER HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE EVER
R.L. Stine would be the easiest name to get on the final Wheel of Fortune puzzle.
The Baltimore Ravens are the only NFL team named after an Edgar Allen Poe story, since the Boston Homicidal Orangutans became the Seahawks.
I just saw a guy try to make fun of a girl by calling her Velma from Scooby Doo, which, he is unaware, is not an insult in Portland.
Idea for a new SyFy channel movie: Brucevalanche. It's an avalanche made out of Bruce Valanches. Somebody give me money now.
So when people show up at a protest on stilts... they're sent by the government to discredit the protest, right?
Noam Chomsky is the wrong name for that man. Somewhere there's a professional snowboarder/hash oil salesman named Irving Fleishman.
"Mr. Karmel, have you ever smoked marijuana?"
*printed out Netflix history is thrown on table*
*the Jury gasps*
If you feel depressed or out-of-control, please remember that you can set off on a life path that will end with your owning a tamed falcon.
Adrian Peterson came back from from a torn ACL and MCL in less than a year and he thinks gay marriage is unnatural?
Romney successfully communicated his dumb ideas and I'm supposed to be impressed? That's like somebody nailing a Disturbed song at karaoke.
"CHUG IT DOWN YOUR SPAG HOLE, SHITHEAD" - The Old Spaghetti Factory's edgy new slogan they're gonna start using.
BuzzFeed's 12 Wettest Oceans.
Stand-up comedian, shoutist. Writer for Chelsea Lately.