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Twitter is a great invention that lets potheads finally remember all that brilliant shit they said.
I find it appaling that in this day and age we still sell baby oil. Is there no humane alternative?
Police forces are being warned not to use pepper spray near bath salts users as it makes faces taste delicious.
One day we're all going to wake up and find out they made it illegal to wake up.
Why isn't there a rhetorical question mark‽
#BadWritingTips Use for effect. "She noticed him" is so bland compared to "His immense presence thrust itself into her awareness"
A subtweet is where you talk about someone behind their back to their face.
The coolest Superhero would be The Inaudible Woman.
You guys are much nicer on here than you seem on C.O.P.S.
My superpower is catching on to trends really really late.
Because of Twitter, a picture is now worth less than 140 characters.
When you first go on the internet you think.. wow.. girls masturbate! After a while you go.. wow.. guys impersonate girls a lot.
If God was a woman, the world would have taken a day to create, but the rest of the week she would have gotten Adam to move things around.
I specialize in inconsistency and I stand by my spotty record.
I wish I spoke Australian. There is probably some funny shit here if I knew what a Gavin was.
I need a girlfriend who likes flowers as much as I do. Dead, dried, burning flowers.
#BadWritingTips Write 1st draft the way you feel it, then rewrite it adding vampires. Do another rewrite adding werewolves if you have time.
Surely when celebrities get together they discuss which one has the whackiest stalkers.
#RejectedOlympicEvents Perpendicular Bars
N.S.F.W. Smartass, Dumbass, Badass, Twidiot, Video Producer, Virtual Character, Technology Whisperer
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