Hard freeze in the area tonight. Remember to bring inside your plants, pets and imaginary girlfriends.

They hold general elections during college football season to make sure everybody hates everybody for one reason or another.

How can New York officials sleep at night, knowing people will be out there drinking all that Pepsi?

What do you call a "subtweet" when it's being done on Facebook? Also, does anyone know who's being so mean to my second cousin?

Insensitive guy: "It went South from there." Response of indignation: "You mean the food became better and the women prettier?"

It is always either college football season or right after college football season or right before college football season.

'Tim Tebow' bill stalls in the Alabama Senate (@statehousekim)  http://blog.al.com/wire/2013/04/senate_debates_tim_tebow_act_t.html … #ALpolitics

Breaking: Starbucks just opened its first Mars location.

NBC Interviewed A Random Tourist About The Queen, And Didn't Realize He Was Evander Holyfield http://t.co/FzzlpPme

I've found that Gannett reporters have an unfair advantage writing to 140 characters.

It's the ol' three body scatter spike, y'all. Respect it. (I'm going to consult my meteorology-degreed wife @leigh_b_morgan) #ALwx

Of all the things I'll be wading through today, I regret one of them ain't Choctawhatchee Bay.

Siran Stacy speaks at Boy Scouts luncheon about overcoming adversity (@wthorn7) (video)  http://blog.al.com/east-alabama/2013/04/siran_stacy_speaks_at_boy_scou.html …

@oklahomajoy The EPA will have to pry my wood-burning stove out of my dead but toasty-warm hands.

Alternative newspapers critical of the big dailies cutting print editions: When do y'all plan on going to 7-day home delivery?

Currently holding up 4 fingers RT @mt_seaman On this day 1985: @realtullyb defeated Magnum T.A. to win the United States Championship. #NWA

Current status: unfollowing those who put the apostrophe between the "ya" and the "ll."

Wimp Sanderson returning to Bham radio on 97.3 opposite @mattcoulter973

The New York Times compares "The Andy Griffith Show" to "The Beverly Hillbillies" and "Green Acres." That rag is dead to me.

@paxochka In early translations of Genesis, the snake temps Eve with an appletini. So I think you're on to something.