@ImAVeronica's (Maria) most faved Tweets...
I spew my entire life all over the internet yet my Flickr stream is private.
I'm like a prostitute who doesn't let clients touch her ears.
I'm like a prostitute who doesn't let clients touch her ears.
Does blowing off this otherwise fantastic guy because he still uses Hotmail make me look like I'm going to die alone and underfucked?
It's all fun and games until someone emails you an mp3 of a drunken voice mail you don't remember leaving.
So apparently BEFORE the hot water runs out is a better time to attempt shower head-assisted masturbation.
Duly noted.
Duly noted.
The problem with a Sarah Palin drinking game - a shot each time she says something cringeworthy - is that I only have two bottles of vodka.
Rebrand all you want, AOL. You'll always be the jerk who sent us all those millions of CDs we didn't want, didn't need and couldn't recycle.
TOMORROW I'M BUYING MYSELF A BOX OF 128 CRAYONS BECAUSE I ALWAYS WANTED ONE AND I NEVER HAD ONE AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME.
You might not think my sleeping topless constitutes "contributing to society", but you're also not the guy fixing my neighbor's roof.
The trouble with being a simmering cauldron of nebulous and undirected hostility is that l am totally out of things l'm willing to pierce.
I've been out of college more than decade, but I still got it.
That's right, boys & girls.
I can still procrastinate like a motherfucker.
That's right, boys & girls.
I can still procrastinate like a motherfucker.
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