Who knew buying K.Y., condoms and peanutbutter flavored dog biskits would get me so many disgusting stares. Note To Self.

You sound like my third grade teacher. They never found that Bitch.

The most favs I have gotten is 6. Can we play a new game? I'm not good at this one.

Sitting at the dentist eating a Kit Kat. They love me here.

Sometimes reality is a great place to live and then sometimes i feel like relocating.

The people who love you won't care how neurotic you are. I mean as long as your not trying to smother granny or steal thier shit for crack.

I always get worried when i walk in a room and all of my relatives are there,

You think you're hot shit on a silver platter but you ain't nothin but a cold turd on a paper plate.

I make fun of my husband alot but he's a wonderful, loving,and supportive man.What he's doing with a bitch like me I'll never know.

I knew i couldn't be the only 1 who has Super Glued the head of thier husbands dick to his stomach 4 leavin his socks under the coffee table

Did the party, did the fist pump, acted like i was 20 again...feelin like im 60 and in desperate need of a cane..good times, good times.

I'm a horrible,horrible person but you'd still fuck me cause I have tits and a vagina.

Gotta clean my house...I hate RL.

I have addictions. Some times they are crippling. Yet my husband and sister NEVER faulter in helping.THAT'S what family is SUPPOSED to be.

If I ever say " Gotta Run " You know I'm lying cause i mean look at me do I look like I'm runnin anywhere?

My husband is buildinga chair, pissed off, walkin around with a chainsaw. Guess who gets his favorite dinner tonight. I love you baby.

My husband is my soul mate. I hope i don't end up having to kill him in his sleep.

What the fuck does your politics or religion have to do with my sex life?

The next time someone says HI say cheetos and walk away. it's funny as hell.

If you rape a prostitute is it considered shoplifting?