I want a girl who only gets mad at me if I don't watch porn with her.

Every time a baby is born, Some1 else dies, SOoooo, Guns don't kill people, babies kill people....Babies are assholes

I just accused five people of stealing the lighter that was in my pocket, so I know I'm ready for another 4 shots now.

Everyone dies, and that makes me really happy when I think about you.

I really love your daddy issues, can I play with them?

You're just a fat cunt that broke the scale because you couldn't lose any hate.

I got lost when I met you, but I found myself again when I lost you.

I can't remember why I even liked you, but I'll always remember why I hate you.

You look like something I'd wanna hit with my car.

The best tweet you ever wrote was the one where you blocked me and I couldn't see yours anymore.

I'm having twitter troll for breakfast. It's just a really ugly face, topped with whore, lies, and way too much cunt.

The nicer u are to a girl, the more likely u are to find your heart on a plate being poked with a knife by one of her ten personalities 

You say you're broken? I say you're perfect.

We should get together, so I could throw you off a cliff.

Our relationship may have started when I met you, but it ended once I knew you.

Some people are like typos in your life, you just have to delete them and start over.

You look like a good reason to stay in bed naked all day.

You were a lot prettier when I thought you were a little sane.

All I did was pull over to smoke a bowl in the ghetto, and now I'm some black girl's Asian baby's daddy.

Love is a four letter horror story.